Henri Nouwen

Leaning In…

Henri Nouwen wrote, “Self-knowledge and self-love are the fruit of knowing and loving God. You can see better then what is intended by the great commandment to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.” Laying our hearts totally open to God leads to a love of ourselves that enables us to give wholehearted love to our fellow human beings. In the seclusion of our hearts we learn to know the hidden presence of God; and with that spiritual knowledge we can lead a loving life.”

In other words, authentic love starts within, builds and grows through self-discovery and conscious connection to God. It is by this process that hearts are moved toward love in the way they exist and what they exude to the outside world.

In chapter 12 of the Gospel according to Mark, we see an example of interactions similar to those that are so prevalent these days. It is very clear that there are two sides with two very different objectives. What’s going on in the hearts and minds of each side? What’s the priority?

The chapter starts with Jesus telling the Parable of the Tenants—tenant farmers who refuse to pay the owner of the vineyard and beat and/or kill the people sent to collect the owner’s due. They even kill the vineyard owner’s son—they do not recognize him. Knowing that Jesus is calling them out in the telling of this parable, the Pharisees, scribes, and elders want to arrest him.

What makes them so quick to become so defensive? Did they stop to look inside and invite God into the process before labeling Jesus as the enemy and beginning to determine a course of action? What makes them so offended by Jesus’ words and actions?

As the chapter continues, Pharisees and Herodians, and then Sadducees are sent to question Jesus about taxes (should they pay Caesar or not? – verses 13-17) and about resurrection (how is the law of marriage applied for the widower of seven brothers and with no descendants? – verses 18-27). And Jesus’ nature continues to shine through as he continues to speak truth, conveying and citing the Word of God in his replies. He does not get rattled or fall for the attempts to manipulate him.

“Repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God” (verse 17).

“When they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but they are like the angels in heaven. As for the dead being raised, have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God told him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, [the] God of Isaac, and [the] God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead but of the living. You are greatly misled” (verses 25-27).

Despite knowing, not speculating, but actually knowing what they are trying to do, Jesus does not become defensive or aggressive, or try to avoid them and their questions—he has nothing to hide. He simply answers the questions truthfully, shedding light and putting focus on the real issue—the motives behind behavior. This leads to the question always worth asking, “In all honesty, who or what is being served, and how?” In this case, and in any day and age, lack of integrity and inability to recognize, and live in, truth is not of service to God, or anyone for that matter.

This brings us to the verses of chapter 12 referred to as “The Greatest Commandment”:

One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him,
“Which is the first of all the commandments?”
Jesus replied, “The first is this:
Hear, O Israel!
The Lord our God is Lord alone!
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul,
with all your mind,
and with all your strength.
The second is this:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
There is no other commandment greater than these.”
The scribe said to him, “Well said, teacher.
You are right in saying,
‘He is One and there is no other than he.’
And ‘to love him with all your heart,
with all your understanding,
with all your strength,
and to love your neighbor as yourself’
is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”
And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding,
he said to him,
“You are not far from the kingdom of God.”
And no one dared to ask him any more questions. – Mark 12:28-34

Loving God with all of one’s being followed by loving one’s neighbor as oneself is to be the object of one’s striving day in and day out. As any human being can attest, this can be challenging and sometimes a downright struggle, and when left to our own devices it’s impossible. However, when we look at chapter 12 of the Gospel according to Mark, we can see in Jesus’ example of facing adversity with peace, honesty, and integrity, how a close relationship with God broadens the horizon, opening hearts and minds to the true meaning of Scripture, influencing speech and action, and revealing truth to all who are willing to embrace and engage in it over everything else (ambitions, possessions, self-interest, etc.).

With Jesus, the invitation is always open, and it doesn’t matter what you bring to the table, so much as a desire for what is true, what you are willing to let go of in order to learn, and the spirit with which you carry it out into the world.

What The World Needs Now…

In chapter 5 of the Gospel according to Mark, the saving power of Jesus is revealed in the healing of the man with unclean spirits (the Gerasene demoniac), the woman who had been hemorrhaging for 12 years, and the daughter of Jairus, a synagogue official. In all three cases, Jesus acts differently than what is expected, in that he is not afraid to meet and embrace those who have met misfortune, and are viewed as less than, and he does not treat anyone or anything as a lost cause or beyond repair. Because of this, even though what he has to offer is beneficial, to those who are married to one way of being he is seen as someone to be weary of and who is dangerous.

When Jesus heals the demoniac, sending the unclean spirits into a herd of swine who then head over the bank and into the sea where they meet their demise, folks become afraid. They cannot see the miracle in the healing that has taken place and ask him to leave. He does get in the boat and depart back to the other side. However, he also remains. The man he healed takes heed in Jesus’s instructions to him. In staying behind, Jesus is with him, and the man gives witness to what the Lord has done for him.

When the hemorrhaging woman touches his cloak, Jesus, who is on the way to heal the synagogue official’s daughter, stops, and takes time not only to seek and find the woman he has just healed, but also to engage with her. Despite fear, the woman comes forward to own, or to claim, the truth. In doing so, she is met, not with a critical, harsh, or condescending response, but rather with affirmation. She believed in Jesus and was willing to take a leap and trust in the healing that she sensed he could bring, when she dared to reached out to touch his garment as he passed by. With Jesus, there is no such thing as too little, too late, not worthwhile, or not enough time.

When it is announced that the synagogue official’s daughter is dead, and that he is no longer needed, Jesus does not turn away. He tells the girl’s father, “Do not be afraid. Just have faith.” (v. 36). Despite the news and being ridiculed by others, Jesus proceeds to their house and wakes the girl up. With Jesus, nothing is impossible.

As a Christian, one is called to follow Jesus, embracing the Way, and striving, through the grace of God, to live it. As challenging, uncomfortable, or unpopular as it may be, oftentimes, this requires change and evolution. Sometimes it may mean the opposite or a variation of the new ways and examples happening in the world, and at other times, it may mean the opposite or a variation of the old ways. Either way, the constant is Love, and the question is whether we trust God enough to let Love be the author.

It’s an incredible mystery of God’s love that the more you know how deeply you are loved, the more you will see how deeply your sisters and your brothers in the human family are loved. – Henri Nouwen

Lines in the sand…

In the process of taking in and pondering the events that have been unfolding in the country and across the world over the past few months, memories of experiences come to mind. Most prominent, have been a couple from childhood. One was an instance in first grade. It was the beginning of the school year and we were outside for recess. After the summer months and spending a lot of time exposed to the sun, the tone of my skin was much more pronounced. My appearance, seemingly foreign, became the object of focus and made me the recipient of the taunting of a few classmates. Another experience, the sole girl joining in among boys and a few fathers playing basketball becoming the subject of ridicule as the tom-boy and for not standing on the sidelines and watching as all good little girls do. In the first situation, there was a classmate who stepped in and stood with me. He had often been the recipient of teachers’ reprimands for not paying attention. Yet, when it really mattered, he was paying attention and, not only that, he spoke up, he took action.

Thinking about these childhood experiences and the impact they had on me, as painful and confusing as they were, I know they are just the tip of what fellow human beings have experienced and continue to experience at the hands of lines drawn in the sand out of ignorance or self-interest, or perhaps both. As I think about back then, over 40 years ago, and then now, a couple of more recent situations come to mind. In particular, the response of the person in charge of a local organization to concerns expressed and experiences shared. It was along the lines of an “I see, but that is not what I am hearing from the people who talk to me. My experience is…”

In that moment, I just listened as I thought, “But you don’t see. Of course your experience and what you hear in your little circle of privilege would not be representative of the entire body of Christ.” Afterward, it occurred to me that not once did this person seem to even consider what I had shared. It was as if he wrote it off and dismissed it, as he immediately jumped to his experience in the vacuum of his comfortable existence. I left the experience feeling like it had been a waste of time trying to speak with this person. For me it was a tipping point after many efforts. A final straw. A reminder about recognizing when the time has come to shake the dust off one’s sandals and move on from places that are so insulated and blinded from Truth. For it is impossible to converse and have dialogue when there is no openness or room to truly sit with, and consider, the experience of others.

While these experiences were certainly not life threatening and may seem relatively harmless or even insignificant to some, they are the sorts of things that often lead to blind spots and greater or bigger injustices. In chapter 10, verses 37-42, of the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus says,

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet’s reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man
because he is a righteous man
will receive a righteous man’s reward.
And whoever gives only a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones to drink
because the little one is a disciple—
amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

In this passage, Jesus is speaking about the dangers of strongly identifying or fervently aligning oneself with anyone, or anything, other than God. Why? What is wrong with loyalty?

Nothing is wrong with loyalty as long as it is, first and foremost, to God. Oftentimes though, it can be tricky to distinguish when something that seems good starts to separate from being of God and slowly turns into something altogether different. In the Bible, there is account after account from the Old Testament through the New Testament that show the way people thought about God and how things ought to be, only for things to change or evolve, always expanding, becoming wider and more inclusive, and truly for the better.

How could it be any other way? God is constant, without being static or motionless, and with God, there are no barriers. For the one, great calling of all creation is toward embracing diversity and standing united.

… the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ, but to live your life as authentically as Christ lived his, then there are many ways and forms in which one can be a Christian. ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

LinesInTheSand

Hope Restored… Bridges Rebuilt… No Thing Impossible…

These days there is much that can cause one to say, “I see it, but I don’t believe it!” The unbelievable and unreal seem so common place. It is so much so that the far out or absurd is no longer shocking, but rather quietly, silently absorbed into what seems like the disintegrating fabric of society. However, amidst the clouds of confusion and within the fragments of sense and sensibility, there is faith. Sometimes waiting to be discovered or rekindled, sometimes on the verge of becoming more broad or deepened.

The community of believers was of one heart and mind,
and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own
but they had everything in common.
With great power the apostles bore witness
to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus,
and great favor was accorded them all.
There was no needy person among them,
for those who owned property or houses would sell them,
bring the proceeds of the sale,
and put them at the feet of the apostles,
and they were distributed to each according to need. – Acts 4:32-35

Unbelievable! Not only a community of believers, but one of the same heart and mind working and living side-by-side. Unity… accepting differences, learning from each other, and using the ways in which we are unique (our God-given gifts and talents) to strengthen us as we strive toward a common goal (to love God, and to love one another). Unity! So wonderful, but seemingly impossible in our times. One might say, “I won’t believe it, until I see it.”

The disciple Thomas essentially said, “I won’t believe it, until I see it” (John 20:19-31). Perhaps all that he had experienced and witnessed in his life along with his knowledge of Jesus and the crucifixion, coupled with dashed hopes and shattered expectations, led Thomas to the conclusion that things were broken beyond repair. Perhaps, “I won’t believe it, until I see it,” was, “My hopes have been crushed…my trust broken. My heart cannot take any more… I need to see it (proof) for myself.” And what is Jesus’ response? He gives Thomas what he needs, and then reminds him, as well as us, to keep the faith—believe. Despite what you may or may not see, believe.

With God, there is always hope and, where there is an open heart and mind, there is nothing… absolutely nothing beyond some kind of repair.

Our life is full of brokenness – broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives.

– Henri Nouwen

Bridge

Taking Paul’s Advice…

I saw this quote from Frederick Buechner, an American writer and theologian, the other day. I was contemplating what to do about a particular situation and all of a sudden, there was the answer, this quote, “Go where your best prayers take you.”

As I read the words, a smile came across my face. A reminder just at the right moment, and while the words may seem so simple or even obvious, I felt so grateful to see them and to be reminded of what I know through experience to be so true. I think most of us start out with the best of intentions and then along the way, we can get sidetracked or pulled away from the very place to which we started out.

It seems like it has been human nature, since the beginning of time, to want to be in charge, whether consciously or sub-consciously. Yet, I and many people I know, and know of, seem to agree, that being in a place of seeing oneself as being in charge, or the ultimate authority, can be a most dangerous place to be. Putting oneself at the top, in head and heart, seems to be a place that leads to chaos of one kind or another, more often than not. We can all probably point to many examples of such chaos in our lives and throughout the world.

“One of the most arduous spiritual tasks is that of giving up control and allowing the Spirit of God to lead our lives.” – Henri Nouwen

We can all probably also point to moments of joy and triumph that we’ve experienced ourselves or seen around us where the decision(s) seemed to be so guided by prayer rather than motivated by self-determination or self-preservation. This is not to say that decisions led by prayer do not also come with difficulty or challenge. Sometimes they do. However, when I turn my will over to God, putting prayer and listening at the top of the list, and asking God to help me to choose light and hope over fear, I find without fail, peace, calm and blessings in the midst of smooth sailing as well as in the midst of a storm.

PrayWithoutCeasing

St. Paul’s advice to the Thessalonians, “Pray without ceasing…”

What came before is important to what is now, and what is to come…

“Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” – George Santayana

When I was a teenager learning to drive a car, I attended driving lessons. The instructor talked about the importance of leaving oneself an out. That is, time and space to respond safely to both the expected and the unexpected along the way. He spoke about leaving at least a car length (more when traveling at higher speeds) between one’s car and the car ahead. He also taught about being aware of what is in front of oneself as well as using the side and rearview mirrors. Then, of course, he spoke of the times, when looking back over the shoulder, is necessary.

It seems like navigating the road of life is very similar; best done with a broad spectrum, using both central vision and peripheral vision…And, sometimes, needing to turn around, and look back.

At times looking back and remembering the past can bring a smile to one’s face as people, places, events and things experienced along the way come to mind. However, sometimes looking back can be painful. Either way, recalling yesterdays can be immensely helpful in moving forward in a positive way.

While some may say that history is just that, history, and that it should be left in the past, history can play such an important part in guiding one through the present and into a brighter future. With careful consideration and prayerful reflection, the past can illuminate and open up the road ahead.

“History is a vast early warning system.” – Norman Cousins

History is not only important and essential to reflect on so that I do not repeat past mistakes, but also in keeping perspective and holding onto the truths that I have learned, the truth of who I am, and how I desire and strive to be as I navigate the world. While I certainly do not want to stay, or live, in the past, recalling it and, if necessary, working to be at peace with it is essential to growth and authenticity. I cannot forge ahead with a sense of freedom, peace and openness to being led by the Spirit, if I avoid or recoil from the past and any loose ends that it may hold.

We all have loose ends, things that get in the way or cause us to speak or act in ways that are less than a genuine reflection of who we really are at the core of our being. When these loose ends pop up here or there, how do I respond? Do I push them back down, trying to squash them into the hole from which they sprang? Or, do I spend time with them? Do I try to look more closely and work through them so that their potential for wreaking havoc or causing unrest or anxiety becomes less and less each time they arrive, eventually becoming so minute that it is as if they have faded away or vanished completely? In this way, holding and looking back at the past can lead to it becoming a salve or a balm; helping to heal old wounds so that I do not become stuck along the path that I am currently on in the journey of life.

In addition, history often helps to give greater meaning to our lives. It helps us to know who we are and from where we have come. The past can also help us to appreciate more fully the present as well as to know what to hold on to and of what to let go. Knowing where I come from, what and why I do the things that I do and celebrate the occasions that I celebrate, is important. If I do not recall the history of these things or events every so often, over time, they will lose at least some of their meaning, and eventually they may become lost entirely. For some things that may be a good thing, but for others, it may not, especially if they have anything to do with core values and beliefs that create a sense of peace and unity within myself and flowing out into my daily interactions.

You see, when we lose touch with history, avoid it, or allow it to be erased or re-written, we risk losing touch with Truth, both our own and that of humanity. We also risk drifting away from fully becoming all that we were created to be and all, that deep down, we truly desire to be. When we are focused solely on what lies ahead, we are as George Santayana said, “doomed.”

“Prayer is listening to the voice of the One who calls you the beloved. It is to constantly go back to the Truth of who we are and claim it for ourselves. I’m not what I do. I’m not what people say about me. I’m not what I have. My life is not rooted in the world, the things the world gives me. My life is rooted in the truth of my spiritual identity. Whatever we do — we have to go back regularly to that place of core identity.” – Henri Nouwen

Do You Hear What I Hear?

“In the end, a life of prayer is a life with open hands—a life where we are not ashamed of our weaknesses but realize that it is more perfect for us to be led by the Other than to try to hold everything in our own hands.” – Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of what I want, or what I deem as necessary. It’s funny though, when I do let go, I almost always end up getting what I really needed, but didn’t know I needed it, until I got it.

I cannot help but wonder, what causes me to have tunnel vision at times? What is it that causes me to be trapped in a line of thinking? Invariably, it comes down to judgments…judgments based on MY perspective.

What is it that prevents me from looking beyond my perspective, at times, causing me to put myself in a box, limiting myself, and others? A broad perspective makes a world of difference. Perhaps that is why time heals all wounds. When I can take a step back and look from more than one angle it is often to the benefit of all involved.

Perspective! It is interesting how two people can hear (or see), the same thing but notice or perceive it in ways that are very different. We all have our own perspectives, but so often, it seems the tendency is to name one as being right and dismiss the other as being wrong. I wonder what causes this and how much is overlooked or missed in this process.

What would happen if the process was slowed down? If judgment was suspended and a closer look was given to that which is so readily dismissed? Could we…would we, find some value in it?

What kind of difference might doing so make? Could there be learning and growth waiting for all parties involved? What would happen if the focus shifted away from the judgment of right and wrong, or any other kind of labeling, until after previous notions and ideas are let go, and honest consideration is given across the board?

How might things be different if the starting place was more consistently one of seeing each other as being created in the image of God, and trying to receive and respond to each other with openness in our hearts and a genuine desire to try to see or hear from each other’s perspective? Not only trying to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, but actually letting the other person help us to do so. That is, instead of judging or tossing aside the other’s point of view, or assuming we know what it is like, saying, “Tell me more,” “What do you mean?” or “Help me to understand your experience of this situation?”

I wonder, how often, when people or things are tossed aside and deemed “unworthy” are we unknowingly, saying “No” to the Spirit of God within another…or within ourselves?