Reflections on spirituality, life, meaning, and purpose
Menu
Search
Author: Carissa A. Kane
Carissa A. Kanehttps://hopethatfloats.wordpress.comI am passionate about spirituality and the journey to deepen and grow in relationship with God.
My desire to live a life rooted in the Divine, and to journey with others who wish to do so, has grown, as have I, through the joys and sorrows, the struggles, victories and challenges of life.
I feel blessed to be a child of God, wife, mother, writer, spiritual director, and retreat director.
They started out a neatly organized bouquet of tulips, bulbs closed and standing upright in a vase, but with time, each came into its own. Still tulips though, and called by name, no matter the style or type of display. Some still upright. Some bending, turning, twisting, as if being called toward something else altogether, but again, all still called by name—side by side—together.
More than humane… a compelling lesson for humanity. Nothing new… it is as it has always been. In opening up, reaching out, and stretching toward another… letting go of “other,” change is made. What is true and meaningful, is more than comprehension. When the peace within one’s heart, reaches out, it permeates from soul to soul, and only then, is it about becoming.
Just as he said to the disciples who met him on the road to Emmaus, Jesus says to us, “You are witnesses of these things.” (Luke 24:48). As followers of Jesus, what did they do with that?
Fast forward to today… As disciples of Jesus, what do we do with all to which we have become witnesses? How do we stand with both the crucified and risen Jesus?
When he saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He began to teach them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
I did not learn to make hummus, with just the “right” amount of fresh garlic, salt, and lemon juice by eating it, reading a recipe, or watching my mother make it over, and over again. Rather, I learned by taking what I saw, remembering what I had tasted, and trying to make it myself, over, and over again. After all, the most helpful way to learn is by ongoing, active observance, repetition, participation, reflection, and openness to growth.
While experience is key, it is interesting that oftentimes as experience increases, awareness to room for improvement can lessen, or even disappear. With that, it may be more than tempting to take moments and situations for granted, rote, or with a “nothing new here” spirit. However, even the process of washing, rinsing, and repeating, holds newness and opportunity with each turn.
In the Gospel according to John, a week later, when the disciples were still locked in the room, Jesus appeared again (Jn 20:26). What was it like for the disciples who had seen the risen Jesus the first time he had appeared? Was it just a been there, done that, repeat for them, or were they able to experience the second appearance in a new or deeper way?
What was the attitude in the room? Were the disciples who had previously seen Jesus able to receive this visitation as being as much for them as it was for Thomas? To whom was Jesus speaking when he said to Thomas, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?”
In the Gospel according to Mark, chapter 16, verse 11, it is written that when Mary Magdalene told the disciples that the risen Jesus had appeared to her outside the tomb, they did not believe without seeing either. Did the disciples remember this, when Thomas said, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”(Jn 20:27)?
What did Thomas think, when Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” (John 20:29)? What did he feel? Perhaps, he felt bad that he did not believe what he had been told by the other disciples. Or, perhaps Thomas felt joy that Jesus heard his need, and responded to it, allowing him to experience the risen Jesus himself.
After all, whether making hummus , dealing with faith, or anything else for which there may be “recipes” or popular thought, there is always more than what is on the page, for “Experience is the teacher of all things” (attributed to Julius Ceasar).
In all times, but most especially in those that are challenging, we must consider experience, both our own and that of others. What has it been like? Do we remember the times and places where we have doubted, questioned, or disagreed, and, do we extend the same courtesy, patience, peace, and understanding that Jesus extends to us, to others?
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name. – John 20:19-31
After Jesus’ body was laid in the tomb, a large stone was placed in front of the opening to it, and life for those seemingly left behind, although altered, carried on.
Then, the third day…
They were saying to one another, “Who will roll back the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” – Mark 16:3
Envisioning the stone obstructing the way, brings me back to an instance from childhood. I recall one year in particular when there was work being done in our backyard that required excavation. Things were going along smoothly until a large boulder, seemingly immovable, was unearthed.
As a result, everything came to a halt and it stayed that way for a number of days. The contractor’s equipment was insufficient to move such a large object. Eventually, though, special equipment was brought in to move the boulder to the perimeter of the backyard. Now out of the way, the work that had been started was able to be completed.
In the days and years that followed, when playing or hanging out with siblings or friends, or just looking out across the yard, there was the boulder. Thinking back, it’s interesting that while some things that seemed so large in size during childhood, seem to have shrunken in adulthood, the boulder remained unchanged. It was huge then, and it is huge now. Still an awesome reminder that every situation, even the unexpected or seemingly impossible, can be overcome.
As the second Easter Sunday amidst Covid-19 times approaches, many thoughts and emotions surface around all that has transpired over the course of the past year, and more. In “normal” times, the experiences one encounters can be challenging enough, never mind a pandemic. Yet, despite the challenges and struggles, there is always help. That’s the promise.
When Mary Magdalene, Mary, the mother of James, and Salome, went to the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body, they expected the stone to be in the way, and they expected that they would need help. What they didn’t know, was that the stone had already been rolled back, and all that was left, was for them to arrive.
When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary, the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go and anoint him. Very early when the sun had risen, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb. They were saying to one another, “Who will roll back the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” When they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled back; it was very large. On entering the tomb they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a white robe, and they were utterly amazed. He said to them, “Do not be amazed! You seek Jesus of Nazareth, the crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Behold the place where they laid him. But go and tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him, as he told you.’” – Mark 16:1-7
Savior, he can move the mountains My God is mighty to save He is mighty to save Forever author of Salvation He rose and conquered the grave Jesus conquered the grave – Ben Fielding/Reuben Morgan – Mighty to Save
Upon entering the room, the display of rainbow-like bursts on one of the walls, captured my attention. Looking back now though, I see more clearly. Connections all around. The shadow once shed, takes on a new face. Taking up and letting go. To shed and re-shed from beginning to end. Tied together throughout by the image of God, and all eternally beloved. It’s in the air. Life and breath, width and depth. With God, it’s Universal.
The veil of the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom. – Mark 15:38
The world, And its inhabitants, Who are abundantly “living,” Something else. In a shell, On a hill, Away from it all. Yet, Life, Forgotten, Trampled, and hidden. Nothing else. Something else.
Create a clean heart in me, O God; Renew within me a steadfast spirit. – Psalm 51:12
Over the past few weeks, as my son has worked on a film project, I have had the opportunity to follow the process of shooting and reshooting scenes, as well as making adjustments for both acoustics and lighting. Most noticeably, the lighting and the impact that it has on the ability to capture scenes in a way that is focused, crisp, and clear has been interesting. On one particular shoot, the light in the room was intermittently “shifting” as the sunlight shining in from a window and a breeze, moving branches outside the window, affected it.
It was striking to see what seemed like waves of light, here and there, moving across the room. While initially, it seemed that the light was doing nothing but interfering, in a different part of the room and from another angle, the lighting was just right and the footage was crystal clear.
In the Gospel according to John, chapter 9, verses 1 through 41, Jesus is the Light that makes things clear to those who desire to see with an open heart. Yet, some receive the Presence as something to be embraced and to lead the way, while others reject the Presence as something that is an interruption or nuisance.
So a second time the Pharisees called the man who had been blind and said to him, “Give God the praise! We know that this man, Jesus, is a sinner.” (For Jesus had healed the man on the Sabbath).
He replied, “If he is a sinner, I do not know. One thing I do know is that I was blind and now I see.”
So they said to him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”
He answered them, “I told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?”
They ridiculed him and said, “You are that man’s disciple; we are disciples of Moses! We know that God spoke to Moses, but we do not know where this one is from.”
The man answered and said to them, “This is what is so amazing, that you do not know where he is from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if one is devout and does his will, he listens to him. It is unheard of that anyone ever opened the eyes of a person born blind.If this man were not from God, he would not be able to do anything.”
They answered and said to him, “You were born totally in sin, and are you trying to teach us?” Then they threw him out.
– John 9:24-34
Preoccupied with their own ambitions… focused on their own designs, the Pharisees could not recognize the Light… the truth about Jesus and the healing of the blind man. And therefore, understanding, appreciating, finding joy in the situation, being happy for the good fortune of the man who could now see, or being receptive to Jesus, would not be possible.
There is a saying that life is what you make of it, and another that people see what they want to see. Was the blind man a sinner? Were his parents sinners being punished with a blind son (as was the thinking at the time)? Was Jesus a sinner?
How might this passage be different if the Pharisees, had been open to the Light, or even simply the idea of it?
What difference or impact, does receiving the Light of Jesus make?
How does being open to the other side of the room or trying to take a view from a different angle, allow one to see and receive the Light, and to let Jesus lead?
I am the light of the world, says the Lord; whoever follows me will have the light of life.
Believe it or not, it seems easier to believe that which is tangible. Thus, the saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it!” Yet, in reality, what one believes actually comes from within. Belief is born out of that which echoes the perceived experience of one’s heart and mind.
As perception changes, the things that resonate and to which one is receptive change too. As a result, internally, one is moved to also change, hopefully for the better. Thus the words of Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
This is really what human nature is all about—we are created to continually evolve—called to conversion each and every day. It is important to remember that when it comes to love, and what is truly good, honorable, and just, there is always room for growth! How much? That’s up to the individual—again it comes back to perception.
During Lent and throughout the year, the practicing, and living out, of what one believes, can, and often does, take so many forms. After all, faith is living… breathing… active. It is not intended to be stale, or fixed in place or time, but to be celebrated with body, heart, and mind. Not to be carried along, but to carry us through and to broaden the depth with which we see God, ourselves, and other, as one.
Seek, and you will find what brings you closer. It’s not about “should” or “if,” but rather what is. The journey is yours and God’s together. Trust, and you will discover.
Jesus came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of land that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there. Jesus, tired from his journey, sat down there at the well. It was about noon.
A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, “How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” —For Jews use nothing in common with Samaritans.— Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink, ‘ you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?” Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.”
Jesus said to her, “Go call your husband and come back.” The woman answered and said to him, “I do not have a husband.” Jesus answered her, “You are right in saying, ‘I do not have a husband.’ For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain; but you people say that the place to worship is in Jerusalem.” Jesus said to her, “Believe me, woman, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You people worship what you do not understand; we worship what we understand, because salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him. God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that the Messiah is coming, the one called the Christ; when he comes, he will tell us everything.” Jesus said to her, “I am he, the one speaking with you.”
At that moment his disciples returned, and were amazed that he was talking with a woman, but still no one said, “What are you looking for?” or “Why are you talking with her?” The woman left her water jar and went into the town and said to the people, “Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Christ?” They went out of the town and came to him. Meanwhile, the disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat of which you do not know.” So the disciples said to one another, “Could someone have brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of the one who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, ‘In four months the harvest will be here’? I tell you, look up and see the fields ripe for the harvest. The reaper is already receiving payment and gathering crops for eternal life, so that the sower and reaper can rejoice together. For here the saying is verified that ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap what you have not worked for; others have done the work, and you are sharing the fruits of their work.”
Many of the Samaritans of that town began to believe in him because of the word of the woman who testified, “He told me everything I have done.” When the Samaritans came to him, they invited him to stay with them; and he stayed there two days. Many more began to believe in him because of his word, and they said to the woman, “We no longer believe because of your word; for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the savior of the world.” – John 4:5-42
One evening, a long time ago, as a teenager, I was travelling by car with a few friends, when the driver had to jam on the brakes, to avoid an accident. Prior to that moment, there was lots of chatter going on as we drove. However, as the car swerved to stay on the road, narrowly missed a sign that had been to the right of the car, but was now on the left side, and finally screeched to a halt, the noise ceased. In those seconds, it was as if we had shifted into slow motion and were transported into a vacuum, void of all sound. Hearts pounding, we just sat there, recognizing the potential disaster we had escaped. Then, after catching our breaths, we drove on, continuing in silence all the way home. None of us spoke about what had happened.
Throughout life, sometimes events can suddenly thunder into presence of mind, body, and soul. They can do so in such a powerful way that all that is left behind is silence. In chapter 9 of the Gospel according to Mark, the Transfiguration of Jesus is described as both an awesome and frightening experience for the apostles, Peter, James, and John. What transpired, was completely unexpected. In verse 6, Jesus is described as somewhat speechless in terms of how to respond to his companions—“He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.”
Clearly, this event shook the apostles; stopping them in their tracks, and reshaping the manner in which they would receive and respond to what was to come, whether consciously or subconsciously. While it seems fitting that the occurrence would happen on a mountain top, what happened would have been a life altering experience, regardless of where it took place or how it was understood at the time. In the Transfiguration of Jesus, eyes were wide open and seeds were firmly planted.
Oftentimes, the Divine is overlooked, dismissed, forgotten, or left behind simply because it’s easier, more convenient, or perhaps preferred, to believe and hold onto experiences that happen where and how one might expect them to occur. Yet, God is not deterred. On that evening so long ago, I remember being shaken and stirred. I also remember the deafening silence all the way home. And in that, the memory etched… to return, here and there. Only with time, and a lot of it, could I see that God was with us that night.
How patient God is! A reminder of the opportunity that openness to the wisdom of each moment, whether it is here and now, in the past, or yet to come, brings. No matter the locale or the emotions an experience evokes, God is with us, with a desire to take hold, to call us forward, and to help us remember as we do, the wisdom that is all around us.
Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them. Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses, and they were conversing with Jesus. Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified. Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.” Suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone but Jesus alone with them.
As they were coming down from the mountain, he charged them not to relate what they had seen to anyone, except when the Son of Man had risen from the dead. So they kept the matter to themselves, questioning what rising from the dead meant. – Mk 9:2-10
Pausing to notice the growing banks of snow around the house this morning, the distant past, a time when the banks were even taller, at least double the size, came to mind. It was a Sunday afternoon and after weeks with multiple storms, the time and effort spent helping to remove and reposition snow disappeared almost instantly. Suddenly, there we were, in a time and space where all that mattered was what we shared—from one side of the driveway to the other… from one heart to another, the anticipation, joy, and excitement in taking turns sitting at the top and then sliding down the “mountain” of snow.
In those moments, it seemed like such a simple thing that came to be. Yet, today, in the midst of shoveling heavy snow, it was a great reminder. There are always challenges and hard work along the way, and sometimes it can seem like there is no end in sight, or break to be had, but there always is. And, in life, all that ever really matters is the experiences we share and the spirit in which we share them.
Love is the beauty of the soul. – Saint Augustine.
Flowers and an icicle do not seem to fit together, and yet, they do, or they did yesterday. From a distance, each called attention in its own manner, a splash and depth of color and a long, glass-like spear.
Up close, and from numerous angles, with the light, and contrasted against the background, the delicate nature of each made prominent. There were so many petals, all the same composition, with similar shapes, and tips with greater variation, but coming together as one in each flower.
Then, the icicle, seemingly one big, smooth flow of water, many molecules, frozen… stuck in time. Yet, stepping nearer, not so plain and clear, layers, twists, and turns coming together to create it.
The beauty of nature in all its various forms comes into presence, like life… like love… like God, in both the expected and unexpected ways.
Embracing the moment, quietly, silently, gratefully, and allowing it to saturate one’s being, is the beginning of knowing, exercising, and extending Love. It is true that Love is timeless, and for the times, but in order to carry on toward fruition, Love must be experienced and embodied. For one can only put forth that which resides within. This is why time, and the way in which it is used, or not, is of the essence.
In the midst of whatever season one might find oneself, the benefit of using, spending, making, or taking time to rest in the love of God, wherever and however it suits one best, is never wasted.
Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. — James Baldwin
HopeThatFloats 
You must be logged in to post a comment.