Openness

Blossoming Day by Day…

“Where flowers bloom, so does hope” – Lady Bird Johnson

About a week ago, I received a gift of flowers—pink, red and white tulips. When I first opened the box in which they were delivered, the tulips were cold and the petals closed like a clenched fist, but still beautiful. After cutting the end of each stem at an angle, I placed the tulips in a glass vase with plant food and some water. I continued to add water as needed and in the warmth of my home, the petals loosened over the course of the week. Each flower transitioned from being fully closed to being in a state of full bloom; different then when they first arrived…even more beautiful.

Thinking back over the course of the past week, it strikes me that the tulips needed much more water in the first day or two than they did in the days beyond that. I remember at times looking at the flowers and the vase, and feeling surprised that more water was needed again. In fact, I think I added water 2-3 times in those first couple of days.

As I sit facing what are now fully opened tulips, I think about the work required to get to this point. I needed to continue to add water to the vase while the flowers needed to continue to take the water in. There was collaboration. Both things needed to occur in order for the tulips to fully open.

Overall, one might say that the environment needed to be conducive to growth. That is, there needed to be give and take, and room for change…inside (the vase) as well as outside. It is not really all that much different from human relationships. When the environment is conducive, it is much easier to work together, to give and take, and to allow room for change in a manner in which all may flourish.

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Tradition, Tradition…Tradition!

A number of years ago I went to see a production of Fiddler on the Roof at a local theatre. Since then, every so often I catch the movie, usually at some point after the beginning or midway thru, on television. In fact, it has become somewhat of a regular occurrence for me to see or listen to at least part, if not all, of Fiddler on the Roof once or twice a year…Ah, tradition!

As this past year wound down and we moved from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, tradition has been very much in the air. I guess it is every year though. However, as I live and breathe, and think about tradition, I cannot help but “feel” tradition.

Tradition is so much more than the same thing over and over, and over. The heart and soul of it is the spirit of it…the sentiment, memories and feelings that accompany tradition. It is not all about keeping everything the same as it was before, but rather about coming together in the same spirit as before.

Continuing to ponder tradition, I envision the lighting of the torch at the Olympic Games. While the games always start with the lighting of the torch and end with the extinguishing of the flame, these two events and pretty much everything in between are never really the same from one Olympic Games to another. The location, costumes, and uniforms change. Sometimes variations are made to the rules or scoring rubrics and events are added or dropped.

As I sit with this image, it seems to me that one surefire way to kill a tradition is to keep it unchanged, year after year, after year. As time goes by, the focus may shift from the spirit of the tradition to the material of the tradition (the things and steps involved in making it all happen the same way). When that happens, the Spirit is shutout and the decline begins. Then tradition cannot help but lose what makes it special, becoming rote and more of a chore than something to which one looks forward or wants to embrace and celebrate.

Simply put, without substance and without room for change or growth, anything, even the most cherished tradition, will eventually become extinct. All things evolve.

“Tradition, which is always old, is at the same time ever new because it is always reviving – born again in each new generation, to be lived and applied in a new and particular way…Tradition nourishes the life of the spirit; convention merely disguises its interior decay.” – Thomas Merton

OlympicTorch

The Eye of the Beholder…

UpsideDownIMG_1486      RightSideUpIMG_1486

Sometimes right side up or upside down does not matter. Sometimes either way can make sense or be beautiful…either way can be a good thing.

I wonder how often people are discouraged, turned away or dismissed as not having the “right stuff” simply because of another’s inability to look beyond a piece(s) of the entire picture.

There is a saying about not judging a person by their appearance, but in this Year of Mercy, what about not judging a person, period? The thing is that no matter what I see in someone, or know of someone, I am not them. I do not know every step they have walked and what those steps have been like, and most importantly, I do not know what is in their hearts.

In addition, no matter how much I think I might know, the fact of the matter is, that I (we) very rarely have the whole picture. Without that, without taking the time to inquire and to look more closely, all we really have are assumptions and judgments, and all they do is limit the openness we have to another and the gifts he or she brings to this world. For all we know, we are holding each other back from being all we can be, and certainly, that must have a collective effect.

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Imagine a world where everyone replaced time spent judging, assessing and competing with one another with time spent encouraging, helping one another and sharing our gifts, talents, time, and treasure…our faith, hope, and love. The times in which we live would be drastically different. The world would be on fire!

While one may think, “Fantasy!” They may be right. It may seem, and probably is, too idealistic and highly unlikely for such a change to occur throughout the world, by what seems like the hands of a few. However, it is not impossible.

It all starts with faith…faith in God, in oneself and in each other. We are created in God’s image. Surely, God’s grace rests upon us and is within us. It enables us to see clearly…to see the whole picture and makes us capable of having hearts that are wide like God’s mercy.

Lord, in this Year of Mercy, and beyond, help us to set the world on fire with hearts more deeply rooted in You.

There’s a wideness in God’s mercy
like the wideness of the sea;
there’s a kindness in his justice,
which is more than liberty.

There is welcome for the sinner,
and more graces for the good;
there is mercy with the Savior;
there is healing in his blood.

There is no place where earth’s sorrows
are more felt than in heaven;
there is no place where earth’s failings
have such kind judgment given.

There is plentiful redemption
in the blood that has been shed;
there is joy for all the members
in the sorrows of the Head.

For the love of God is broader
than the measure of man’s mind;
and the heart of the Eternal
is most wonderfully kind.

If our love were but more faithful,
we should take him at his word;
and our life would be thanksgiving
for the goodness of the Lord.

— Frederick William Faber

 

 

 

 

Take Flight and Soar…

If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts. – Psalm 98:5

While I was searching for a photo, I came across a few that one of my brothers-in-law had taken and sent to the family a couple of years ago…an eagle taking flight.

Looking at the images, “God is in charge.” These are the words that pop into my mind. Such a freeing thought. God is in charge. God who created the eagle and not only gave it wings to fly, but also to soar. As I ponder how magnificent it is to see the eagle take flight and soar, I believe that God has the same in mind for all creation. How inspiring, filled with hope, and so grateful to God it makes me feel.

There is excitement as I step in to all that this day holds, both the known and the unknown. I wonder, “Will I recognize the gifts and blessings around me in the midst of all that is on my plate today? How will I cooperate with God?” Then I stop myself. I call myself back to the eagle in flight, about to soar, and I think, “Let go and let God.” How freeing!

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Photos courtesy of DMB

The Bottom Line…

“It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important.
You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power,
may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that
doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never
know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing,
there will be no result.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

In what seems like a win-at-all-costs society and in situations where it seems like the odds of existing, and being part of, with authenticity and integrity are slim to none, it can be hard to know what to do. It can also be very tempting to throw my hands up, pull back or walk away and fall prey to a “why bother?” attitude and to think, “what difference does it make?”

As I sit with the question, “When is it okay for me to walk away?” and pray about a particular situation, I think of a quote I saw recently, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” (Edward Everett Hale, American politician). As I think about this quote, I take a turn and my prayer moves to the questions, “Is there anything I can do? What can I do before deciding whether or not to walk away?”

I can speak up, sharing with those involved and privy to the situation what is in my heart and on my mind with love, care and concern, regardless of what may or may not come of it. My words may not make a difference in a way that I can see now, in a way that I might ever see, or at all. If I speak up though, and what I say is rooted in prayer and consistent with the words and example of the Divine, I give voice to the Truth that has arisen from within me. Then, if I do end up walking away, at least I can do so with a greater sense of freedom and no regrets. I can be at peace knowing that I saw something, it did not hold up when I held it up to the Light, and at a time and in a way in which I felt called to do so, I shared my concerns and spoke my piece regarding it.

So what is left? If I am looking toward what I can do, I can continue to pray for a positive and life-giving resolution, whatever that may be. I can also continue to ask God for the grace to trust that I did what I felt called to do and that God will do what is best, and when it is best, for all involved. In addition, I can continue to wait to make a decision about walking away. God helped me to know when to speak and what to say. “Certainly,” I tell myself, “God will help me to know when it is time to walk away.” My job for now is to wait and listen.

“The seed is the word of God.” – Luke 8:11

The seed is given to me (to us) through Scripture, prayer and revelation. It is a gift from God. What am I to do with it? First, and foremost, listen to it (be still and be aware)…embrace it with a heart of love (be open to it)…persevere in it and through it (be faithful, be patient and trust). These are all things that I can do. When I do them, what to do, eventually, becomes clear.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

“In the end, a life of prayer is a life with open hands—a life where we are not ashamed of our weaknesses but realize that it is more perfect for us to be led by the Other than to try to hold everything in our own hands.” – Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of what I want, or what I deem as necessary. It’s funny though, when I do let go, I almost always end up getting what I really needed, but didn’t know I needed it, until I got it.

I cannot help but wonder, what causes me to have tunnel vision at times? What is it that causes me to be trapped in a line of thinking? Invariably, it comes down to judgments…judgments based on MY perspective.

What is it that prevents me from looking beyond my perspective, at times, causing me to put myself in a box, limiting myself, and others? A broad perspective makes a world of difference. Perhaps that is why time heals all wounds. When I can take a step back and look from more than one angle it is often to the benefit of all involved.

Perspective! It is interesting how two people can hear (or see), the same thing but notice or perceive it in ways that are very different. We all have our own perspectives, but so often, it seems the tendency is to name one as being right and dismiss the other as being wrong. I wonder what causes this and how much is overlooked or missed in this process.

What would happen if the process was slowed down? If judgment was suspended and a closer look was given to that which is so readily dismissed? Could we…would we, find some value in it?

What kind of difference might doing so make? Could there be learning and growth waiting for all parties involved? What would happen if the focus shifted away from the judgment of right and wrong, or any other kind of labeling, until after previous notions and ideas are let go, and honest consideration is given across the board?

How might things be different if the starting place was more consistently one of seeing each other as being created in the image of God, and trying to receive and respond to each other with openness in our hearts and a genuine desire to try to see or hear from each other’s perspective? Not only trying to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, but actually letting the other person help us to do so. That is, instead of judging or tossing aside the other’s point of view, or assuming we know what it is like, saying, “Tell me more,” “What do you mean?” or “Help me to understand your experience of this situation?”

I wonder, how often, when people or things are tossed aside and deemed “unworthy” are we unknowingly, saying “No” to the Spirit of God within another…or within ourselves?

Where are you?

With all the events happening in the world, I find myself wondering, “Why?” or better yet, “What?” What is it that really causes conflict? What is it that turns a situation from being one of working together to one of working against? What is it that divides?

A number of months ago and out of nowhere, I had an experience that blind-sided me. At the time, I felt taken advantage of and betrayed. I had trusted that there was honesty and authenticity, but come to find out, there was not. There was an exchange that started out in what seemed a positive direction, but then it came to light that there was only darkness and deceit on the other side…and hidden underneath that darkness and deceit were assumptions, judgments and misinterpretations driven mostly by fear.

There is the saying, “Money is the root of all evil,” but it certainly seems that fear ought to be right up there next to money, if not above it. It is often fear unchecked, that is behind words, actions, and inactions that can cause damage and destruction for both, me, and the world around me. It can stop me in my tracks. It can unleash anger and anxiety (among other feelings) that may tempt and cause me to act in ways that I would not otherwise. Fear, unchecked and in charge, can make me run fast, far, and wide, and most significantly, it can lead me away from the very place where I need to be.

In the Book of Genesis, while we can see that jealousy played a part in all that happened between the serpent and Eve and then Eve and Adam in the Garden of Eden, we can also see that fear was right there too. After the fruit has been eaten, Adam and Eve hear God walking in the garden and they hide. (Thousands of years removed, and from what I have come to believe about God, I find this somewhat humorous. Like anyone can actually hide from God. However, I suppose we can, and do at times, allow ourselves to think we are hiding from God.)

God says to Adam, “Where are you?” God does not say, “What have you done? One tree, man! I asked you and the woman to stay away from one tree!…” God does not criticize Adam and Eve up one side of the Garden of Eden and down the other. God does not shame them, try to make them more fearful, or strip away their dignity (further than their actions have already done).

While there are consequences for their actions, God still cares for them and about them, and does not abandon them. God already knows what they have done and could simply call them out and punish them, but instead God starts by simply asking, “Where are you?” What a great question!

God wants to hear their story. God wants to hear our story. How open are we to hearing each other’s stories?

Imagine how different life might be if we took the time to ask and to consider of ourselves, and others, “Where are you?”

I imagine there would be fewer assumptions, judgments, and misinterpretations…fewer misunderstandings…less fear…and more love in the world.

Compass

Hitting the Pause Button…

Reflect

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…We need silence to be able to touch souls.” – Mother Teresa

Of all that I am thankful for and all that I see as blessings from God, the capacity to reflect is at the top of the list. In the midst of a fast paced, multitasking, busy world, quiet, prayerful reflection and contemplation has been a huge gift in my life, and from what I have witnessed as a family member, friend, and spiritual director, it has been a gift in the lives of countless others as well.

The first step is in the ability and the choice to pause. Sometimes the first step can be the hardest, especially with all that goes on between work, family, and everyday life. However, experience has taught me that I need to make a conscious decision to pause on a regular basis. For when I am on the go, in motion, it is hard or even impossible at times, to notice what I am being called to, to be open to a change in course or a new road ahead, or simply to be aware of and grateful for God’s presence and the blessings all around me.

I cannot ponder in my heart and mind without first putting the brakes on, lowering the volume, slowing down, and sometimes, completely coming to a prolonged stop. It is in these quiet moments, where I find myself best able to take a step back, to take a breath, and to truly leave room to listen and to be attentive to the deepest stirrings of my soul; the meeting place within. It is in these moments, that I find myself most open and reflective. It is in contemplation that I come to see that it matters not whether I go to the left, to the right, up ahead, behind, or way over there, but that what matters most is my openness to God…to the Truth…to the best course of action, or inaction, in the eyes of God.

When I think back over my life, I feel gratitude for moments of prayerful reflection and contemplation, moments where through Divine grace, I was able to let go of any agenda or notions to which I may have been holding on to, whether consciously or subconsciously, and to be aware and open to whatever may be. I can see clearly that these moments have been ones in which I have felt a deep sense of unity with God and the world around me. I have also felt a deep sense of peace and joy, regardless of the situation, circumstances or what ended up happening. It has been through these moments of reflection, in giving prayerful pause and taking a step away, that I am able to remain centered and rooted in God, stepping back into the world without being overcome by it.

Ready. Set. Open!

“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” – Indira Ghandi

Not only can you NOT shake hands with a clenched fist but there are also many other things you cannot do with a clenched fist. Perhaps from a more positive perspective…with a clenched fist, I can do very few productive and life-giving things. In fact, one could say that there is very little I can do with a clenched fist that I can truly feel good about.

When I imagine a clenched fist, what comes to mind first is fighting. Quickly behind that are the image of a wall and the idea of a stronghold of determination…determination to defend, hold on to and preserve at all costs. At some point I have to ask myself what am I defending and at what cost, not only to myself, but also to those around me, and those on the other side of the table?

Another question, who am I serving? Am I fighting to defend or to hold on to a universal truth or value? Or, am I fighting to maintain the illusion that I am in control? If it is the latter, I am pretty much slamming the door in the face of openness and all the possibilities that may lie ahead. What could be! If only that fist would open and that wall be taken down.

In the movie based on Roald Dahl’s book, Matilda, the father says to Matilda, “Listen, you little wiseacre: I’m smart, you’re dumb; I’m big, you’re little; I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” What a great example of the attitude behind a clenched fist!

It is sad to experience and to think about how much is lost or destroyed as a result of clenched fists; the potential that is never seen, never given a chance to develop. It is disappointing when that which a group or an individual has to offer, when their gifts and what makes them special, creates a barrier to meaningful work and the development of mutually beneficial relationships; when it causes division or angst instead of unity and acceptance and an environment where the greater good is the focus.

With clenched fists, nobody wins. There can only be peace and unity, working together and building up, and authentic collaboration where there is an open fist…open hands…open minds and open hearts. Where there is a willingness to let go, to lay aside what is comfortable and what is “known,” and to come to the table with a desire to learn from that which is new and different, to accept others as they are and to give them, and ourselves, the room (love, encouragement, patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness) to grow.

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Take Me Out to the Ballgame…

I remember the excitement with which I attended my first professional baseball game. I was about 7 or 8 years old. As an athlete and a lover of all things sports related, I was extremely happy to be going to Fenway Park with my parents and one of my siblings. I recall the crowds, the noise, the vendors (“Get ya program heeere!”), the field, the hotdogs, Pesky’s Pole, the announcer’s voice, seeing the players that I knew from watching games on TV or listening to them on the radio, and more. Of all these things though, what struck me most was the singing of the national anthem, the 7th inning stretch complete with the singing of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”, and all the moments in between and after where the crowd was in unison. At the time, I remember thinking and feeling that it was the most awesome thing, I had ever experienced.

More than three decades later, I still find the singing of the national anthem and the 7th inning stretch to be so moving. It is similar to those moments at a graduation or a concert where people from all walks of life are joined together for the same purpose, and in the same spirit. It is as if the human spirit is overflowing in joy, anticipation, excitement and celebration. There is a sense of togetherness…a sense of unity. It is exhilarating!

In those moments, what “side” we are on, ceases to matter. For in those moments, we are one. United, and all the things that cause division are gone, at least temporarily. How precious those moments! How brightly we shine, or rather, how brightly the Spirit shines within and through us.

I cannot imagine such things (a national anthem, graduation, concert, etc.) without openness to the Spirit from which active participation springs. Imagine what it would be like if instead of singing a national anthem, we spoke it, or, if instead of clapping with applause, we just stood there silently or gave only a nod of approval. How bizarre would that be? It would be spiritless. I don’t think there is any way we would accept such a lackluster response!

Imagine if that was the norm at such events though. Would we continue to attend them? Would they mean less to us? It certainly seems like we would be less apt to attend or to participate.

I wonder…why are we less open…why do we accept less in some areas of our lives as compared to others? What determines how actively we participate? Again, imagine how less invigorating the start of a ball game would be if we spoke the national anthem instead of singing it; or imagine what it would be like to be at a concert and to not be standing, clapping and/or singing along.

What is the difference between those moments where I so readily unleash the Spirit within and allow myself to participate fully, in communion with those around me and the moments when I do not? What holds me back? What prevents my heart from being in those moments?

How different the world is when that Spirit is present. What a difference it makes!