Openness

Play it again…

Here and there throughout the years, a woodpecker or two take a liking to the backyard, and then the shed, or even sometimes the house. At that point, paths tangled, it becomes CD time. And so, with fishing line, one by one, the ornaments are hung in hopes of protecting the outside of the shed and house.

Initially, as the CDs inflect, reflect, and deflect the rays of light that shine their way throughout the day, they deter not only the woodpeckers, but also the cardinals, robins, and blue jays that are normally here. However, after a week or so, thankfully, the others seem to remember, or become aware of what is going on, and they return home. Then, looking out from the inside, the backyard is back to the more typical flutter of more inspiring activity.  

It is interesting how, whether inside or out, day or night, there is the shimmering of Light, sometimes brighter or more noticeable. Always present though. And, while it drives away some, it draws in others.

Inflecting… reflecting… deflecting… resonating life. Calling to one, calling to all, trust… believe… stay the Path.

The LORD is near to all who call upon him,
to all who call upon him in truth. – Psalm 145:18

Wag This Way…

A couple of summers ago, while visiting family, we decided to go out for ice cream. As we opened the back door of the mini-van, immediately, and with great enthusiasm, the dog jumped in, and was ready to go. Unfortunately, the dog could not come with us, and needed to be escorted back out of the vehicle. As disappointed as he seemed though, when we got back to the house, his excitement upon our reuniting was as if his disappointment or hopes dashed prior to our departure, had never occurred.   

It is interesting how dogs, act and react, especially when they are excited. Perhaps, jumping and bouncing, running back and forth, and/or wagging their tails furiously at the approach of a favorite treat or as a loved one returns home. Then there are the other times, when they might plant their paws and growl, preparing to resist, attack, or defend against something non-preferred, or a threat perceived. Regardless of the situation though, what is often most striking is the capacity of dogs to love without abandon.

Moving from wagging tails to wagging fingers, there is the human frailty that causes hearts to bruise, egos to rouse, and hurt to linger. This, all the while, the silent plea, “Come now. Come down off your high horse,” echoes deep within. But, which will win?

Sometimes, it’s time to stop stopping. Stop standing still. When stubborn, yet again, the wagging, it begins. There it is. Getting in the way, determined to carry on, refusing to give in.

At what cost?

So many things, taking up space, too tightly held. How can the space between us do anything, but swell? Wider it becomes… bigger… stronger… bolder it grows. Drifting… fading… falling, tell me, what is so appalling?

One can’t help but wonder, when will this nonsense stop? When will we heed the warning that echoes deep within, “Come now. Come down off your high horse.”?

I give you a new commandment, says the Lord: love one another as I have loved you. – John 13:34  

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
                        — Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

Awash…

As each wave comes ashore, along the way it covers all that is lower lying. Sometimes stacking up, it covers higher ground too. Then as it recedes, it pulls back toward the ocean all that is loose or unanchored, leaving a murky mixture of unsettled sand and water behind.

The movement is constant, the intensity waxing and waning, turning motion into commotion at times. Yet, standing in the water, witnessing and experiencing the ebb and flow, toes, then feet and more, under water, swaying… sometimes shifting for better footing, sometimes falling over, but ultimately finding the way, and keeping balance amid conditions of low visibility.  So much like the days we are in, so much tossed about, up in the air, or sinking.

Still though, in between the waves, and even within, there is Hope. There are always moments of clarity where despite murky water all around, the anchor, tried and true, still holds, and the floor of sand with its assorted pebbles, rocks, and shells can be seen. For water that moves always comes clean. Always, always, refreshing the soul… renewing the heart.

May God enlighten the eyes of our hearts,
that we may know what is the hope
that belongs to our call. – Ephesians 1:18

Awash

Leaning into Peace…

A couple of years ago, I came across this large rock while at a retreat house.

Peace

While the word “Peace” is noticeably engraved toward the top of the stone, not so easily seen are the words engraved toward the bottom left side of it. “In verdant pastures He gives one rest.” These words are reminiscent of Psalm 23, which begins, “The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.”

At first glance the rock appears to suggest that peace is an uphill battle. However, despite the fact that it may seem that way, both on this rock and at times in life, perhaps more than anything, it is an invitation. One must remember that Peace is not a destination, but rather a companion on the journey.

As we climb the mountain, the Lord is by our side, solid like a rock, firmly in place, and the peace we find depends upon all that we hold in our hearts and to Whom we lean into, as well as in Whom we rest.

The Lord is my shepherd;
there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures he makes me lie down;
to still waters he leads me;
he restores my soul.
He guides me along right paths
for the sake of his name.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff comfort me.
You set a table before me
in front of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Indeed, goodness and mercy will pursue me
all the days of my life;
I will dwell in the house of the Lord
for endless days. – Psalm 23    

Reach…

The rays of light poured forth from the sun, extending toward the sea before carrying on and making their way across the water. Then from there, onto the shore, absorbing all in its path, catching passersby, and filling with gratitude, awe and inspiration, each willing soul along the way.

Sometimes getting from one side to the other is easier said than done. Today I found myself thinking about a day, a number of years ago, that I had to fly out of state to do a training session. It had been a productive day, moving right along with no hitches, but still it was a long day and at the end, I could not wait to be home again. However, the return trip was unexpectedly delayed. I remember checking in and boarding the flight, and feeling relieved as the plane began to depart from the gate. I was thinking that soon we would be in the air and less than a couple of hours later reaching the destination. All was good.

Continuing on, we began to move forward, and we kept moving, but without picking up speed. Then, the plane came to a halt, and remained halted on the tarmac for a number of hours. All passengers confined to their seats, I remember feeling more than a little upset as the time standing there, still, grew longer and longer.

Feeling so stuck, it was hard not to wonder, why? Why did the plane pull away from the gate, leaving one and all stranded, with nowhere to go? What is going on? Why are we waiting here? How long will it be?

Eventually, a far time from departing from the gate, the plane was able to take off. I found myself feeling so thankful along the way, upon landing and deplaning, and even more grateful, upon arriving home and climbing into my bed that late night/early morning. Thinking back on that trip, I remember at first feeling defeated in those long moments of waiting. The situation at hand invasive, threatening to wash away the prior, more pleasant happenings of the day. Then, as the time passed, sifting through various thoughts and feelings, somewhere in between, I remember letting go and arriving at a different destination—peace. All was good.

Back then, I did not understand. Since then, I have come to see. The tarmac, what seemed an empty wasteland, the place of being stuck or just waiting and waiting, held the same peace I was longing for at home. Yet, it was only able to reach me, and me it, in my letting go.

Most often what is waiting in between, the in between—Peace—is what gets one through.

Peace, always reaching out, longing to be held.

Peace, a treasure, seeking to be sought, but more than often not.

Peace, always near, always here, wandering care. 

Peace, destined for each other, like the calling of a mother.

Reach

From the Ground Up…

Taking a stroll… wandering to and fro… wondering and thinking.

Time goes by. Still strolling… still thinking.

Noticing the plants… flowers and shrubs… the sky above…

Drawn in more than one direction. Decision indecision.

Aim high? Aim low? Maybe somewhere in between?

No, not quite… No, not right… Oh, alright.

FromTheGroundUp

Going about each day, it is natural to take in what is immediately in front, ahead, or in the vicinity, while keeping stride from one minute to the next. It is often easiest to see or connect with what is received at eye level or perhaps sometimes what is above. Yet, oftentimes, what is of most value, and can be most helpful, can be found at a much lower height than one’s stature, position, or aspirations. Tempting though it may be, never mistake or forsake the importance of what happens, or what can be seen, at ground level, or below, at the roots. Remember, it is in the foundation of the soul—the heart—that Truth makes itself known, and then, the path that is best, is shown.

In Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream at night. God said: Whatever you ask I shall give you.

Solomon answered: “You have shown great kindness to your servant, David my father, because he walked before you with fidelity, justice, and an upright heart; and you have continued this great kindness toward him today, giving him a son to sit upon his throne.

Now, LORD, my God, you have made me, your servant, king to succeed David my father; but I am a mere youth, not knowing at all how to act—

I, your servant, among the people you have chosen, a people so vast that it cannot be numbered or counted.

Give your servant, therefore, a listening heart to judge your people and to distinguish between good and evil. For who is able to give judgment for this vast people of yours?”

The Lord was pleased by Solomon’s request.

So God said to him: Because you asked for this—you did not ask for a long life for yourself, nor for riches, nor for the life of your enemies—but you asked for discernment to know what is right—

I now do as you request. I give you a heart so wise and discerning that there has never been anyone like you until now, nor after you will there be anyone to equal you.

– 1 Kings 3:5-12

Resonance…

Recently, there have been a number of times, when looking out the window, the birds that are usually fluttering and moving from one spot in the yard to another, have been awfully still. They have been hanging around in one area of the grass or perched on a branch much longer than usual. Then yesterday afternoon, another of our frequent visitors, a rabbit, was not just eating, but was also sprawled out, as if reclining on the grass as it was eating. I had never seen that before and found it rather curious. Then I thought, it must be hurt, but it wasn’t. After watching for a minute or two, I went off to do something else, and when I returned, the rabbit was in its more usual, upright position.

Today, sitting at the kitchen island, it is not long before I become aware of the ticking of the clock or the buzzing of messages received by cell. Even in another spot, not long before there is something else calling attention or looking to be tended to, remembered not forgotten. And while I may perceive these all as I go about my way, sometimes at a quickened pace, sometimes still, others passing through and moving on, it is only when I really stop and take the time to listen, that my heart can open up not only to hear, but also to remember, the Truth beyond the mission.

Earlier this week, I came across the following prayer. A great reminder of all the reasons why—The Reason why. It is by John Henry Cardinal Newman, whose motto was “Cor ad cor loquitur” or “Heart speaks to heart.” It’s about all that matters…

Dear Jesus, help me to spread your fragrance everywhere I go;
Flood my soul with your spirit and life;
Penetrate and possess my whole being so completely
That all my life may be only a radiance of yours;
Shine through me and be so in me
That everyone with whom I come into contact
May feel your presence within me.
Let them look up and see no longer me—but only Jesus.
Amen.

– Saint John Henry Newman

BlueJay1

Lines in the sand…

In the process of taking in and pondering the events that have been unfolding in the country and across the world over the past few months, memories of experiences come to mind. Most prominent, have been a couple from childhood. One was an instance in first grade. It was the beginning of the school year and we were outside for recess. After the summer months and spending a lot of time exposed to the sun, the tone of my skin was much more pronounced. My appearance, seemingly foreign, became the object of focus and made me the recipient of the taunting of a few classmates. Another experience, the sole girl joining in among boys and a few fathers playing basketball becoming the subject of ridicule as the tom-boy and for not standing on the sidelines and watching as all good little girls do. In the first situation, there was a classmate who stepped in and stood with me. He had often been the recipient of teachers’ reprimands for not paying attention. Yet, when it really mattered, he was paying attention and, not only that, he spoke up, he took action.

Thinking about these childhood experiences and the impact they had on me, as painful and confusing as they were, I know they are just the tip of what fellow human beings have experienced and continue to experience at the hands of lines drawn in the sand out of ignorance or self-interest, or perhaps both. As I think about back then, over 40 years ago, and then now, a couple of more recent situations come to mind. In particular, the response of the person in charge of a local organization to concerns expressed and experiences shared. It was along the lines of an “I see, but that is not what I am hearing from the people who talk to me. My experience is…”

In that moment, I just listened as I thought, “But you don’t see. Of course your experience and what you hear in your little circle of privilege would not be representative of the entire body of Christ.” Afterward, it occurred to me that not once did this person seem to even consider what I had shared. It was as if he wrote it off and dismissed it, as he immediately jumped to his experience in the vacuum of his comfortable existence. I left the experience feeling like it had been a waste of time trying to speak with this person. For me it was a tipping point after many efforts. A final straw. A reminder about recognizing when the time has come to shake the dust off one’s sandals and move on from places that are so insulated and blinded from Truth. For it is impossible to converse and have dialogue when there is no openness or room to truly sit with, and consider, the experience of others.

While these experiences were certainly not life threatening and may seem relatively harmless or even insignificant to some, they are the sorts of things that often lead to blind spots and greater or bigger injustices. In chapter 10, verses 37-42, of the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus says,

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet’s reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man
because he is a righteous man
will receive a righteous man’s reward.
And whoever gives only a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones to drink
because the little one is a disciple—
amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

In this passage, Jesus is speaking about the dangers of strongly identifying or fervently aligning oneself with anyone, or anything, other than God. Why? What is wrong with loyalty?

Nothing is wrong with loyalty as long as it is, first and foremost, to God. Oftentimes though, it can be tricky to distinguish when something that seems good starts to separate from being of God and slowly turns into something altogether different. In the Bible, there is account after account from the Old Testament through the New Testament that show the way people thought about God and how things ought to be, only for things to change or evolve, always expanding, becoming wider and more inclusive, and truly for the better.

How could it be any other way? God is constant, without being static or motionless, and with God, there are no barriers. For the one, great calling of all creation is toward embracing diversity and standing united.

… the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ, but to live your life as authentically as Christ lived his, then there are many ways and forms in which one can be a Christian. ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

LinesInTheSand

Museum Days…

In ordinary times, it seems many things fly by, or slip away, unnoticed or forgotten. This week, thinking about summer fast approaching and revisiting memories of summer days gone by, a visit to a university art museum came to mind. When going to a museum there is often a feeling of enthusiasm and openness to seeing many different types and styles of art from various cultures and periods throughout history, all in the same place at the same time.

When reminiscing about this museum visit, what rose to the surface was a piece of art titled, Ave Mariam #2, by the artist Agus Suwage. I remember being struck by how different it was than any other rendering I had seen before. I also recall seeing it from a far, not knowing who it was supposed to be or who the artist might have been. What stood out, and drew me in closer, was the heart.  As I moved forward, it was as if my heart, the heart of the subject, and the heart of the artist joined together, becoming one.

The past few months have been very different than many could have ever dreamed. For many, plans, hopes, or dreams erased as lessons gone by, removed from a board.  Yet, in what can feel like a long, strange flow of time, where division, deceit, and animosity are overflowing, among all the grief, it seems much has been, and remains, to be gained. It is as if the Universe is screaming… pleading, “Unity!”

While most schools around here are finished with, or finishing up, the academic year, it seems we are back in school. These are “Museum days.” If only the spirit that permeates the inside of the museum encountered such willing participants outside as well. There is so much to take in. There is still so much to learn, so much diversity to appreciate, and so many hearts to come together, to be uplifted and inspired toward the peace that greater awareness and authenticity create.

Lord, help us, Your body, to be moved by the Holy Spirit to partake in Your goodness in all our encounters and endeavors, for the glory of God. Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.

AveMariam2

Something new… something old…

With all the volatility throughout the world right now, it can be difficult to wade through differences of opinion and the debates, sometimes heated, that come from them. Socrates said, “True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.”  

Oftentimes, in situations that engender competing factions, the best way to proceed is by laying aside one’s own point of view, at least temporarily, and trying to understand the experience of others.

Earlier this week, I received an email that contained statistics that were not the most recent statistics available. However, beyond the numbers, the message contained some examples of social injustice in areas that I am not sure I had previously considered. What shined through loud and clear was that it can be easy to become isolated or insulated from the experience of others. More often than not, there is a greater tendency to try to find the place where one fits in, and then, to comfortably live and stay there. Inevitably, by doing so, diversity and openness become lost more easily, and learning lessens. The voices and the experience of others… those on the edges or completely outside of the place where we have come to reside, become invisible or simply “not my experience,” so they may be dismissed, without much consideration.

This is the crux of the matter… of many matters. When there is little or no room for consideration, or an unwillingness to separate from what is comfortable, preferred, presumed, or seen as “known,” there is also usually little or no room for true dialogue or change—something more than superficial. Without open and honest listening and sharing, without coming together, how can we possibly come to understand?

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with all of you. – 2 Cor 13:13      

SomethingNewSomethingOld