Experience

Hidden in a Catalog…

Each year as Christmas approaches, I fondly recall a childhood ritual of time spent with a couple of my siblings, huddled around a department store’s holiday edition catalog. The three of us would look at what seemed like endless pages of different games and toys, dreaming of what it would be like to call them our own. At the same time though, we knew that was not going to happen.

Still, each year, we would come together, at the kitchen table or lying on our stomachs on the rug in the family room, captivated by the pictures and descriptions. We were all on, or around, the same page, and not a page was turned until all three of us were ready to move on. Of course, sometimes, we would negotiate and come back to particular page or skip ahead to a different section, but always, we stayed together.

It’s interesting what sharing, can bring to a situation. Although my older sister, younger brother, and I were frequently drawn to different games or toys, we were consistently drawn together. Over the years, the experience of sharing our time with each other as well as our excitement and interest… hopes and dreams, made it seem like anything was possible in the sacred space we shared. 

This year, in a pandemic ridden world, where space is better not shared, perhaps another kind of invitation lies in waiting—a bridge of sorts. Maybe a chance to find that which has been overlooked, or what might otherwise be lost. An opportunity to remember or to see more than what we think we know. 

As a child looking at those pages of games and toys, I thought it was the catalog that brought such great excitement. However, while it was intriguing back then, now I understand it differently. So often, time and distance can bring perspective in a way that reveals truth or deeper understanding of any matter.      

On the 3rd Sunday of Advent, a time of waiting and reflecting, we read in the Gospel according to John that John the Baptist said, “…there is one among you whom you do not recognize…” (John 1:26-27), to the priests and Levites sent to question him. He was speaking of Jesus. Yet, we know that even today, there are moments where each of us can say to ourselves, “there is one among you whom you do not recognize.” Whether it is a person, place, or thing, when we think of it, how do we speak of, and to, Jesus?

A man named John was sent from God.
He came for testimony, to testify to the light,
so that all might believe through him.
He was not the light,
but came to testify to the light.

And this is the testimony of John.
When the Jews from Jerusalem sent priests
and Levites to him
to ask him, “Who are you?”
He admitted and did not deny it,
but admitted, “I am not the Christ.”
So they asked him,
“What are you then? Are you Elijah?”
And he said, “I am not.”
“Are you the Prophet?”
He answered, “No.”
So they said to him,
“Who are you, so we can give an answer to those who sent us?
What do you have to say for yourself?”
He said:
“I am the voice of one crying out in the desert,
‘make straight the way of the Lord,’”
as Isaiah the prophet said.”
Some Pharisees were also sent.
They asked him,
“Why then do you baptize
if you are not the Christ or Elijah or the Prophet?”
John answered them,
“I baptize with water;
but there is one among you whom you do not recognize,
the one who is coming after me,
whose sandal strap I am not worthy to untie.”
This happened in Bethany across the Jordan,
where John was baptizing. – John 1:6-8, 19-28          

Lines in the sand…

In the process of taking in and pondering the events that have been unfolding in the country and across the world over the past few months, memories of experiences come to mind. Most prominent, have been a couple from childhood. One was an instance in first grade. It was the beginning of the school year and we were outside for recess. After the summer months and spending a lot of time exposed to the sun, the tone of my skin was much more pronounced. My appearance, seemingly foreign, became the object of focus and made me the recipient of the taunting of a few classmates. Another experience, the sole girl joining in among boys and a few fathers playing basketball becoming the subject of ridicule as the tom-boy and for not standing on the sidelines and watching as all good little girls do. In the first situation, there was a classmate who stepped in and stood with me. He had often been the recipient of teachers’ reprimands for not paying attention. Yet, when it really mattered, he was paying attention and, not only that, he spoke up, he took action.

Thinking about these childhood experiences and the impact they had on me, as painful and confusing as they were, I know they are just the tip of what fellow human beings have experienced and continue to experience at the hands of lines drawn in the sand out of ignorance or self-interest, or perhaps both. As I think about back then, over 40 years ago, and then now, a couple of more recent situations come to mind. In particular, the response of the person in charge of a local organization to concerns expressed and experiences shared. It was along the lines of an “I see, but that is not what I am hearing from the people who talk to me. My experience is…”

In that moment, I just listened as I thought, “But you don’t see. Of course your experience and what you hear in your little circle of privilege would not be representative of the entire body of Christ.” Afterward, it occurred to me that not once did this person seem to even consider what I had shared. It was as if he wrote it off and dismissed it, as he immediately jumped to his experience in the vacuum of his comfortable existence. I left the experience feeling like it had been a waste of time trying to speak with this person. For me it was a tipping point after many efforts. A final straw. A reminder about recognizing when the time has come to shake the dust off one’s sandals and move on from places that are so insulated and blinded from Truth. For it is impossible to converse and have dialogue when there is no openness or room to truly sit with, and consider, the experience of others.

While these experiences were certainly not life threatening and may seem relatively harmless or even insignificant to some, they are the sorts of things that often lead to blind spots and greater or bigger injustices. In chapter 10, verses 37-42, of the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus says,

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet’s reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man
because he is a righteous man
will receive a righteous man’s reward.
And whoever gives only a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones to drink
because the little one is a disciple—
amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

In this passage, Jesus is speaking about the dangers of strongly identifying or fervently aligning oneself with anyone, or anything, other than God. Why? What is wrong with loyalty?

Nothing is wrong with loyalty as long as it is, first and foremost, to God. Oftentimes though, it can be tricky to distinguish when something that seems good starts to separate from being of God and slowly turns into something altogether different. In the Bible, there is account after account from the Old Testament through the New Testament that show the way people thought about God and how things ought to be, only for things to change or evolve, always expanding, becoming wider and more inclusive, and truly for the better.

How could it be any other way? God is constant, without being static or motionless, and with God, there are no barriers. For the one, great calling of all creation is toward embracing diversity and standing united.

… the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ, but to live your life as authentically as Christ lived his, then there are many ways and forms in which one can be a Christian. ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

LinesInTheSand

Breaking Away…

Looking out the window, in the midst of being stuck on something for work, I wondered why the flow of cars had come to a stop. It was not even close to commuter traffic time. I stood up and went closer to the window to try to see what was happening outside. As I surveyed the street to the right and then back to the left, all at once the reasons for the holdup came into view.

The two beautiful horses that are normally fenced in across the street were leisurely jogging on the sidewalk, past the stopped cars on the road. I watched in awe as they calmly made their way down the street. Just as they passed my house, they started to turn left toward their home field, but then briefly paused and turned right, crossing the street at a wide opening between some cars, and taking a break in a next door neighbor’s front yard.

They seemed to be enjoying the air outside their usual stomping grounds. They stood there for a few moments, completely unaware of the angst of those trying to carefully restore them to those very grounds. They looked so very majestic and peaceful too.

While the horses breaking free and strolling around the neighborhood caused a bit of a stir, stopping traffic and leading officers to the scene, they were eventually led back to their enclosure. Everyone, horses, owners, officers, witnesses of the “jail” break, and passersby alike, continued on their way safe and sound. I went back to work, no longer stuck.

It is interesting how taking a little time to check things out, especially the unexpected, can bring with it an opportunity for great joy, an encounter or experience that can brighten an ordinary day, and perhaps even lead to insight and discovery of one kind or another. All of us, like the horses running down my street, need to step away or move into a different space at times, and take a breath of fresh air.

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On the Edge…

The drops of water lay so gently on the flower’s petals, leaving no evidence of the heavy downpours in the hours before.

Currently, in the state of Hawaii, there are rumblings underground through which lava is flowing. Where there was no evidence of faulty ground visible to the eye, where once perhaps there was what seemed steady, tolerable or even glamorous, now there is disruption. However, depending not on where one stands, but on how one stands, the ground, though it may be cracked and shaking, remains intact.

When Peter and his fellow Apostles were carrying on after Jesus’ death and resurrection, the ground was shaky. The future was unknown, yet they remained intact. They were able to proceed despite differences, disputes, and disruptions. They remained rooted even when the ground was moving.

The Apostles stood firm in their love of God. This was the manner in which they lived—how they stood, wherever they stood. Their love of God and desire to be faithful to God, impassioned them. It opened their hearts and minds, enflaming their spirits and their willingness to listen and to be guided by the Holy Spirit, despite their prior understanding or personal thoughts on the way things should be.

When Peter entered, Cornelius met him
and, falling at his feet, paid him homage.
Peter, however, raised him up, saying,
“Get up. I myself am also a human being.”

Then Peter proceeded to speak and said,
“In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.
Rather, in every nation whoever fears him and acts uprightly
is acceptable to him.”

While Peter was still speaking these things,
the Holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the word.
The circumcised believers who had accompanied Peter
were astounded that the gift of the Holy Spirit
should have been poured out on the Gentiles also,
for they could hear them speaking in tongues and glorifying God.

Then Peter responded,
“Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people,
who have received the Holy Spirit even as we have?”
He ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.

– Acts 10:25-26, 34-35, 44-48

While the Apostles lived so very long ago, the way they lived… how they stood, is much more than history. It is like drops of water on a flower petal, waiting on the edges of every experience. It is Wisdom for the ages.

OnTheEdge

“It is at the edge of a petal that love waits.” – William Carlos Williams

By the Light…

The sky was beautiful and peaceful. It was a pleasant sight at the end of a long day. At a time when one might expect the darkness of night to overtake the day, the moon was big and bright, casting light upon the clouds as they moved across the sky.

Sometimes it can be easy to forget how beautiful the night time can be. Among the vast darkness, there is quiet to be found, and, on a crisp, cool, clear night, there is also natural light from high above. One needs only to pause, and then look up and around to experience awe, inspiration, hope, peace, reassurance, or whatever grace may be most needed at that moment.

There is much that can happen throughout life that may seek to cast a shadow over us, to cause one’s head to drop and heart to sink, or one’s gaze to move downward toward the ground. There is so much that can seek to close our hearts to the goodness that awaits us despite the circumstances or predicaments that may exist around or within us.

Then there is the sky… calling us to remember that we are not alone… that nothing is too heavy… there is Light to be experienced by both the day and the night.

Moon2

The Great Wide Open…

In passing by and at times being surrounded by farmland over the past few months, the beauty and vastness of the countryside has been striking. Against the occasional backdrop of mountains and the many fields of crops and shades of green, there has been much to take in and a great sense of freedom and openness to be felt. There have also been the more confining structures one would expect to see, such as barns, fences and silos. These structures serve to protect what is within and in doing so they create boundaries and barriers. Of them, perhaps the silo, into which one cannot readily see, is the most compelling.

FarmSilos

A farm silo functions as a holding place for storing grains. It is a strong, tall, rounded container with generally no openings for the elements, including light, to penetrate. Its purpose is to prevent the grain inside from becoming compromised or spoiled. A silo does a great job of protecting grain and is both necessary and good. However, personally or in an organization… figuratively, a silo is bad news. It seeks to control the environment in ways that both compromise and spoil forward progress. It also holds back the spirit of integrity and ingenuity necessary to flourish and genuinely thrive.

As we go through life, we all come across situations, organizations and/or people through whom we experience a silo effect—having helpful information withheld, being undermined, being shut out, pushed away or alienated. Often we can easily point to or name such cases. However, it can be more difficult to see or name the instances where we may be helping to foster that experience or effect… allowing it to continue… perhaps even creating or contributing to the creation of even more silos.

The way of the world puts emphasis on acquiring and storing up things, status, reputation, chips on one’s shoulders, etc. Ultimately, they can, and often do, bring us down or cause us to be less than what we truly are. It can be difficult to recognize, yet alone to resist being swept up or carried away by this mentality, or even fighting against it. It can keep us from doing and from being… from living out our deepest, purest desires in a way that is encouraging and uplifting to others as well as ourselves. We can be led astray, fooled, or lulled over time by that which masquerades around providing a false sense of reality as well as security. We can be lured and led away from being a place of growth and harvest to a place of storage.

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” – Andrew Murphy

From time to time, it is important to pause, to let the Light not only in but also to fully penetrate one’s soul, and to ask, am I a vessel or have I become a silo?

StoreHouses

Shine…

Jesus said, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him” (John 9:3). He said this in response to the disciples’ inquiry about whose sin had caused a man to be born blind. In the first book of the Prophet Samuel, when Samuel is in Bethlehem looking to see which of Jesse’s sons he is to anoint as king and successor to Saul, the Lord explains to Samuel, “Not as man sees does God see, because man sees the appearance but the LORD looks into the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

There is an expression, “Offer it up to the Lord.” I have often heard it spoken by well-meaning people suggesting one say, “Thank you Jesus!” in response to the hardship or difficulty another may be going through. As many times as I have heard it said, it has left me pondering what they really mean and how this statement is helpful or comforting to the person who has just been incapacitated or experienced loss in some way. It is wonderful to experience offering trials and tribulations up to the Lord for oneself, but I wonder if that sentiment is often lost when instructing another to do so.

It seems that at times much can be lost in translation or we can get caught up in trying to keep a sense of order and understanding. It is human nature to want to make sense of or to be able to explain or account for things beyond one’s control. After all, no one sets out to break a leg or get sick. When it happens though we ask, “Why?” Perhaps sometimes even getting stuck in the possibilities that may have been the cause.

At the heart of the matter, it can be tempting to spend lots of time searching to see how or why something happened as we move toward what we do have some control over. We always have a choice in how we respond to a situation and in what influences our response. As with many things, it is a process. However, no matter where one may be in that process, there are always invitations to receive the grace of God. Not only that, but also to let it shine.

You, LORD, are my shepherd; I shall not want.
In verdant pastures you give me repose;
beside restful waters you lead me;
you refresh my soul.
You guide me in right paths
for your name’s sake.
Even though I walk in the dark valley
I fear no evil; for you are at my side
With your rod and your staff
that give me courage.
You spread the table before me
in the sight of my foes;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Only goodness and kindness follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in your house, LORD,
forever.  (Psalm 23)

Shine

Elevation…

Within the next month or so, the tiny buds surrounded by white snow in the photo below will gradually grow and open, revealing green leaves. They will start as a lighter shade of green, somewhere in between yellow-green and lime, and they will gradually work their way toward a darker shade of green. Once there, the leaves will stay that way, at least to the human eye, throughout the remainder of spring and into the summer. Then, as summer gives way to autumn, they will turn red before they fall, eventually returning back to the earth. Each year this process occurs, and with it, the bush to which the buds belong, grows.

Buds

Beautiful as it can be to witness this cycle of birth and re-birth, it would not happen if any of the stages along the way ceased to occur. Each step throughout the year, and throughout its life, is important to the health and growth of the bush, giving it what it needs to survive the cold winter and gusty winds, as well as times of drought.

The burning bush was created to make it through…to persevere and to adapt and grow. We are no different. While the cold, white snow, and wind gusts may be a harsh reality, at the same time, they hold and carry nutrients, and condition the soil. Although they can pose a challenge, with them, we not only grow, but we thrive.

When Peter, James and John ascended the mountain with Jesus, they had no idea what they would encounter. Similarly, as we face each day, we never really know what we are about to walk into or come across. Like the disciples, we can choose to walk with Jesus, or we can choose to walk on our own.

Even when we choose to walk with Jesus, though, like Peter, James and John, we will have moments when we may experience something that causes us to become afraid, to question, or feel challenged beyond measure…beyond what we may think we can handle. In those times, remember, the radiant Son brings warmth and new life to the earth, even in the cold. “Rise, and do not be afraid.”

Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother,
and led them up a high mountain by themselves.
And he was transfigured before them;
his face shone like the sun
and his clothes became white as light.
And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them,
conversing with him.
Then Peter said to Jesus in reply,
“Lord, it is good that we are here.
If you wish, I will make three tents here,
one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
While he was still speaking, behold,
a bright cloud cast a shadow over them,
then from the cloud came a voice that said,
“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased;
listen to him.”
When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate
and were very much afraid.
But Jesus came and touched them, saying,
“Rise, and do not be afraid.”
And when the disciples raised their eyes,
they saw no one else but Jesus alone.

As they were coming down from the mountain,
Jesus charged them,
“Do not tell the vision to anyone
until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.” – Matthew 17:1-9

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