Learning

Polished Stones…

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I woke up this morning with a U2 song in my head. I was particularly struck by the line, “The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.” As I look at stones collected from a local beach over the past number of years, I love how all the stones, of different shapes, sizes and colors, share a smooth texture. Sometimes I wonder from where each stone may have originated. How far did each one travel along its journey from out in the deep ocean to the sands of the beach? The stones, no matter where they came from or how they started out, all came to be smooth by being tossed about in the sea.

It is interesting how in the same way that the friction caused by water against stone and stone against stone has smoothed the edges over time, adversity can smooth our edges. Adversity can lead to growth.

It seems human nature to prefer the moments of smooth sailing, keeping quiet and avoiding potential conflict. However, as I reflect, it seems like so much more growth comes from moments of standing in the ocean and moving with the waves as they ebb and flow, as they rise and fall with the tide, and crash around during storm surges. Carrying hope in my heart and a desire to be all that I can be (and all that I was created to be) deep within my soul, I am able to own who I am. With each wave, through God’s grace and with openness and acceptance, the jagged edges are smoothed away. I am made new.

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching…” – Ephesians 4:14

Ordinary Love by U2

The sea wants to kiss the golden shore.
The sunlight warms your skin.
All the beauty that’s been lost before, wants to find us again.
I can’t fight you anymore; it’s you I’m fighting for.
The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Birds fly high in the summer sky and rest on the breeze.
The same wind will take care of you and I, we’ll build our house in the trees.
Your heart is on my sleeve, did you put it there with a magic marker.
For years I would believe, that the world, couldn’t wash it away.

Cause we can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

Connecting the pieces…

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A year or so ago, and over the course of a number of weeks, I was in the waiting area of a medical center for a portion of each weekday morning. On the way to the waiting area there was coffee, hot water for tea, and small packages of graham crackers and salted crackers. The waiting area itself had chairs, a TV and magazines like most waiting areas, but it also had a table with a partially completed puzzle on it and all the remaining small pieces, also waiting.

I remember arriving each morning and after a short period of time, looking to see how much more of the puzzle was left to be done and how many pieces I might locate and place in the time that I was waiting. At first, this was how I spent at least a portion of my half hour wait each day. Then, as the weeks progressed there were more people in the waiting area and I found my time less and less filled with finding and placing pieces of the puzzle and more filled with conversation between and amongst fellow wait-ers. Those who were once strangers became familiar over a short period of time.

It is interesting how our lives intersect with the lives of others. And how, even over a brief period of time or through a short exchange, we can affect each other’s lives.

Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle….

But know this. You do not have within yourself
All the pieces to your puzzle…

Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

                      – from “Eyes Remade for Wonder” by Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

As I continue to sit with the memory of that waiting area, I recall how it felt as if time was suspended or even ceased to exist. There was a reverence in the air as we listened to one another and shared conversation and laughter as we waited. It was as if we were on holy ground. A pleasant surprise…

Recently, I attended an 80th birthday party, and while it was much noisier than the waiting area of that medical center over a year ago, there was also a reverence in the room. At one side of the room there was a slideshow of pictures from throughout the years. As I sat and watched the pictures from old to new, seeing both family and friends…those who had passed and those who were present, sadness was replaced with gratitude as I was reminded…How precious life is! There was a feeling of holy ground in the pictures and in the room in the hugs and kisses, and in the smiles, greetings and conversations that were exchanged during the celebration of a “piece,” a special and beloved piece, that belongs to the puzzle of each of us present at the party, whether in spirit or in person.

So, I praise God as I say thank you Auntie D. for your beautiful spirit, your love, and your example throughout a lifetime. And, thank you to the nurses, technologists and patients in the waiting area of that medical center for your hospitality, sharing and caring during a short and uncertain period of time.

Each and every piece of the puzzle no matter the shape, size, or length is a gift, or has a lesson that is a gift. Sometimes that is easier to see than at other times. Either way, whether we see it now, or later, one spirit bowing to another is always a beautiful thing.

What came before is important to what is now, and what is to come…

“Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” – George Santayana

When I was a teenager learning to drive a car, I attended driving lessons. The instructor talked about the importance of leaving oneself an out. That is, time and space to respond safely to both the expected and the unexpected along the way. He spoke about leaving at least a car length (more when traveling at higher speeds) between one’s car and the car ahead. He also taught about being aware of what is in front of oneself as well as using the side and rearview mirrors. Then, of course, he spoke of the times, when looking back over the shoulder, is necessary.

It seems like navigating the road of life is very similar; best done with a broad spectrum, using both central vision and peripheral vision…And, sometimes, needing to turn around, and look back.

At times looking back and remembering the past can bring a smile to one’s face as people, places, events and things experienced along the way come to mind. However, sometimes looking back can be painful. Either way, recalling yesterdays can be immensely helpful in moving forward in a positive way.

While some may say that history is just that, history, and that it should be left in the past, history can play such an important part in guiding one through the present and into a brighter future. With careful consideration and prayerful reflection, the past can illuminate and open up the road ahead.

“History is a vast early warning system.” – Norman Cousins

History is not only important and essential to reflect on so that I do not repeat past mistakes, but also in keeping perspective and holding onto the truths that I have learned, the truth of who I am, and how I desire and strive to be as I navigate the world. While I certainly do not want to stay, or live, in the past, recalling it and, if necessary, working to be at peace with it is essential to growth and authenticity. I cannot forge ahead with a sense of freedom, peace and openness to being led by the Spirit, if I avoid or recoil from the past and any loose ends that it may hold.

We all have loose ends, things that get in the way or cause us to speak or act in ways that are less than a genuine reflection of who we really are at the core of our being. When these loose ends pop up here or there, how do I respond? Do I push them back down, trying to squash them into the hole from which they sprang? Or, do I spend time with them? Do I try to look more closely and work through them so that their potential for wreaking havoc or causing unrest or anxiety becomes less and less each time they arrive, eventually becoming so minute that it is as if they have faded away or vanished completely? In this way, holding and looking back at the past can lead to it becoming a salve or a balm; helping to heal old wounds so that I do not become stuck along the path that I am currently on in the journey of life.

In addition, history often helps to give greater meaning to our lives. It helps us to know who we are and from where we have come. The past can also help us to appreciate more fully the present as well as to know what to hold on to and of what to let go. Knowing where I come from, what and why I do the things that I do and celebrate the occasions that I celebrate, is important. If I do not recall the history of these things or events every so often, over time, they will lose at least some of their meaning, and eventually they may become lost entirely. For some things that may be a good thing, but for others, it may not, especially if they have anything to do with core values and beliefs that create a sense of peace and unity within myself and flowing out into my daily interactions.

You see, when we lose touch with history, avoid it, or allow it to be erased or re-written, we risk losing touch with Truth, both our own and that of humanity. We also risk drifting away from fully becoming all that we were created to be and all, that deep down, we truly desire to be. When we are focused solely on what lies ahead, we are as George Santayana said, “doomed.”

“Prayer is listening to the voice of the One who calls you the beloved. It is to constantly go back to the Truth of who we are and claim it for ourselves. I’m not what I do. I’m not what people say about me. I’m not what I have. My life is not rooted in the world, the things the world gives me. My life is rooted in the truth of my spiritual identity. Whatever we do — we have to go back regularly to that place of core identity.” – Henri Nouwen

Finding a Rhythm…

When our children were young, one of the books my husband and I used to read to them was Zin! Zin! Zin! A Violin! by Lloyd Moss with illustrations by Marjorie Priceman. The storyline introduced, with a flair that was intriguing, ten instruments that make up a chamber group. The words and illustrations used to describe each instrument with its different look, sound, and feel, awakened the imagination and the senses. By the end, one could easily envision being in the audience, attending the performance.

Each instrument is capable of creating sound on its own; acceptable maybe even wonderful, but one-dimensional. When together, embraced and celebrated along with the others, different as they may look, sound and feel they are so much more. They are enhanced not only by the existence of the others, but also by the cooperation and co-laboring with them. The brass, string, and woodwind instruments are all necessary parts to create the movement, the music…the melody and harmony of the chamber group.

While there is a conductor “running the show,” he or she is not the one who brought the group of musicians together. It was love of music that brought the entire group, conductor included, together. It all started with Love…it all started with a Word.

It is what binds the group together and propels them forward. It is what enables them to sit side-by-side, working together with respect, courtesy, and dignity, listening to each other, adjusting to each other, and allowing each other to play their individual instruments together, making music instead of cacophony…Taking all that came before and making a bridge from the past to the present as they move toward the future…Taking all that they have learned and experienced, making room for the new and/or different that each has to offer, becoming stronger, better, and richer in sound, and in character.

Any one musician can use his or her instrument to make noise, but for the chamber group to make music everyone in the group needs to be in sync with each other. Everyone in the group needs to be guided more by their love of music than their love of their particular instrument.

“In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.”
– John 1:1

A Time To Change…

A few weeks ago, I collected some chestnuts. They were ones that had fallen to the ground prematurely and were still in their green, prickly burl or shell. Initially I thought I would use shellac to preserve them. That did not work though. The shells still turned brown and the chestnut within, which was not yet fully developed, shrunk so that it rattles inside upon shaking the shell.

I went back to the same spot more recently and there was a windfall of fully developed beautiful, smooth, brown chestnuts on the grass all around these two chestnut trees. In addition, there were some green, prickly shells, bigger than the ones I had picked earlier. “A-ha!” I thought as I picked up as many chestnuts as I could hold as well as some of the shells. This time I would refrigerate them to try to preserve them.

Well, the chestnuts were preserved, but the green shells continued to ripen and eventually cracked open. Overall, it seemed that there was nothing that I could do to preserve the chestnut shells as I found them—green and prickly.

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However, each day as I looked in the refrigerator, I could see the green prickly shell gradually changing to brown. The prickles remained, but seams formed along the shell and eventually began to split open, revealing a smooth, beautiful chestnut inside. Looking back over the journey, I cannot help but think how cool it was to see what was waiting for me each day as I opened the refrigerator.                ChestnutShellBrnOpening

ChestnutShellGrnOpening

In the end, I had chestnuts and shells exactly as they were meant to be. Not in my time, or exactly my way (preserved—green and prickly), but in God’s time and in God’s way. No sooner…no later…but perfect. How Divine!

Chestnuts1

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
– Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

What Instrument Will I Be?

Throughout the past week, I found myself feeling so inspired by the words of Pope Francis during his visit to the United States of America. I continue to find, as many others do, his message and his manner so appealing. There is no duplicity in him, or at least it seems that way. He preaches, and from all evidence, lives a life of love and mercy and promotes peace and unity.

Pope Francis exudes the essence of one who is centered in prayer, has a desire to remain faithful to God, and is filled with and guided by the Holy Spirit. He is inclusive and calls us to look beyond ourselves to focus on the common good. He challenges us to be faithful to God and sets an example through his own actions. Not only that, but what makes his words and actions even more meaningful (at least to me), he does all of this, without making it about himself. All that he says and does seems to point to something greater…to God.

“Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.” – Matthew 5:16

What a great example! One that extends to more than just one group of people, one that is so life giving and aspires a closer relationship with God and others. Pope Francis calls us to be true to who God created us to be. To have a Pope named Francis, who comes to us in the name of God, through Jesus and with the Holy Spirit, at this time in history, how fitting!

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

– Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

The Bottom Line…

“It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important.
You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power,
may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that
doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never
know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing,
there will be no result.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

In what seems like a win-at-all-costs society and in situations where it seems like the odds of existing, and being part of, with authenticity and integrity are slim to none, it can be hard to know what to do. It can also be very tempting to throw my hands up, pull back or walk away and fall prey to a “why bother?” attitude and to think, “what difference does it make?”

As I sit with the question, “When is it okay for me to walk away?” and pray about a particular situation, I think of a quote I saw recently, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” (Edward Everett Hale, American politician). As I think about this quote, I take a turn and my prayer moves to the questions, “Is there anything I can do? What can I do before deciding whether or not to walk away?”

I can speak up, sharing with those involved and privy to the situation what is in my heart and on my mind with love, care and concern, regardless of what may or may not come of it. My words may not make a difference in a way that I can see now, in a way that I might ever see, or at all. If I speak up though, and what I say is rooted in prayer and consistent with the words and example of the Divine, I give voice to the Truth that has arisen from within me. Then, if I do end up walking away, at least I can do so with a greater sense of freedom and no regrets. I can be at peace knowing that I saw something, it did not hold up when I held it up to the Light, and at a time and in a way in which I felt called to do so, I shared my concerns and spoke my piece regarding it.

So what is left? If I am looking toward what I can do, I can continue to pray for a positive and life-giving resolution, whatever that may be. I can also continue to ask God for the grace to trust that I did what I felt called to do and that God will do what is best, and when it is best, for all involved. In addition, I can continue to wait to make a decision about walking away. God helped me to know when to speak and what to say. “Certainly,” I tell myself, “God will help me to know when it is time to walk away.” My job for now is to wait and listen.

“The seed is the word of God.” – Luke 8:11

The seed is given to me (to us) through Scripture, prayer and revelation. It is a gift from God. What am I to do with it? First, and foremost, listen to it (be still and be aware)…embrace it with a heart of love (be open to it)…persevere in it and through it (be faithful, be patient and trust). These are all things that I can do. When I do them, what to do, eventually, becomes clear.

An Unobstructed View…

A good number of years ago, over twenty, I ventured out into the mountains with a friend. We were going to hike a trail that went up higher than what I had ever hiked before. I remember setting out very determined. I was going to conquer this mountain if it killed me. Well, it almost did!

After going quite a long way up the mountain, head down, fists mostly clenched, consumed with getting to the top, I almost walked right off the mountain. Had it not been for my hiking partner calling my name (I remember feeling so annoyed and at first ignoring him) and finally yelling at me to stop, a couple of more steps and I would have stepped over the edge into the abyss below.

As I look back at that experience, I feel grateful that I was hiking with someone who knew the way and truly had my best interest in mind. Thank God! What I did not know at the time was that my approach was misguided. It was good to have a sense of determination and a strong will to reach the summit. However, it was not good to be so consumed with accomplishing the task that I could not see value in anything else along the way.

So what did I miss along the way? There were spots where one could stop and take in the beautiful views and there were fellow hikers wanting to share a smile and say hello. I did not have time for that though. I just wanted to get to the top. The places to pause and the fellow hikers with their kind gestures and attempted interactions seemed more like obstacles, hindering me from reaching the goal than anything else. At the time, I did not see them as gifts along the trail…hidden jewels waiting to be seen or heard, and capable of adding richness and providing respite, strengthening and enlivening me for the remainder of the journey.

I could not see the splendor on the way up the mountain, but my hiking partner could, and all those taking in the views or sharing friendly gestures and words along the way could. I learned so much from Brian and the other hikers on the mountain that day. I was holding on so tightly to the notion of overcoming the obstacles along the way and succeeding…getting to the top…that everyone and everything around me appeared as enemies instead of the friend, the resting spots, and the friendly faces placed along the way.

It is interesting how sometimes the “enemy” on the outside is not the enemy at all, or pales in comparison to the enemy within. Also oftentimes, the best way up the mountain is with a wide lens view with stops all along the way rather than quick, straight, and in a tunnel. Most importantly, when traveling with God, the goal never becomes an obstruction.

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

“In the end, a life of prayer is a life with open hands—a life where we are not ashamed of our weaknesses but realize that it is more perfect for us to be led by the Other than to try to hold everything in our own hands.” – Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of what I want, or what I deem as necessary. It’s funny though, when I do let go, I almost always end up getting what I really needed, but didn’t know I needed it, until I got it.

I cannot help but wonder, what causes me to have tunnel vision at times? What is it that causes me to be trapped in a line of thinking? Invariably, it comes down to judgments…judgments based on MY perspective.

What is it that prevents me from looking beyond my perspective, at times, causing me to put myself in a box, limiting myself, and others? A broad perspective makes a world of difference. Perhaps that is why time heals all wounds. When I can take a step back and look from more than one angle it is often to the benefit of all involved.

Perspective! It is interesting how two people can hear (or see), the same thing but notice or perceive it in ways that are very different. We all have our own perspectives, but so often, it seems the tendency is to name one as being right and dismiss the other as being wrong. I wonder what causes this and how much is overlooked or missed in this process.

What would happen if the process was slowed down? If judgment was suspended and a closer look was given to that which is so readily dismissed? Could we…would we, find some value in it?

What kind of difference might doing so make? Could there be learning and growth waiting for all parties involved? What would happen if the focus shifted away from the judgment of right and wrong, or any other kind of labeling, until after previous notions and ideas are let go, and honest consideration is given across the board?

How might things be different if the starting place was more consistently one of seeing each other as being created in the image of God, and trying to receive and respond to each other with openness in our hearts and a genuine desire to try to see or hear from each other’s perspective? Not only trying to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, but actually letting the other person help us to do so. That is, instead of judging or tossing aside the other’s point of view, or assuming we know what it is like, saying, “Tell me more,” “What do you mean?” or “Help me to understand your experience of this situation?”

I wonder, how often, when people or things are tossed aside and deemed “unworthy” are we unknowingly, saying “No” to the Spirit of God within another…or within ourselves?

There Will Be An Answer…

“There will be an answer. Let it be.” – Paul McCartney

Trust that there will be an answer. Wait for it. That can be so hard at times, especially living in a “right here, right now” world. A fast paced, blink and you will miss it, world.

There are so many sayings about time…time is of the essence…once you lose time you cannot get it back…time waits for nobody…so little time, so much to do, and so on. What, then, is essential for me to do with my time? Perhaps it is choosing wisely how to spend it…something that, yes, takes time.

“For thus said the Lord GOD,
the Holy One of Israel:
By waiting and by calm you shall be saved,
in quiet and in trust shall be your strength.
But this you did not will.” – Isaiah 30:15

What makes it so difficult, at times, for me not only to wait, but also to trust that, as I wait, an answer is on its way? Not only does Scripture tell me to wait for the Lord, trusting in divine providence and grace:

“Truly, the LORD is waiting to be gracious to you,
truly, he shall rise to show you mercy;
For the LORD is a God of justice:
happy are all who wait for him!” – Isaiah 30:18

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you:
“This is the way; walk in it,”
when you would turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21

but when I take the time to reflect, so does my life experience. So often, taking the time to slow down, to continue to pray and to discern, and to wait for God instead of jumping into the fast lane and forging ahead as the world would have me, has lead me to a better answer…a better decision, than I could have devised solely, on my own. By allowing time, that precious time, and waiting, I have often been granted an answer… a nudge…a tweak to my original course of action or plan that has made a difference for the better and made waiting not only worthwhile, but also a gift…a blessing.

When I am feeling impatient and pressured by the ticking of the clock, I need to call myself back to the truth. I need to remember how good God has been to me. To remain faithful and trust that God will continue to be good to me, and perhaps most importantly, I need to cherish the time I spend waiting. I need to toss aside the clock and trust in God’s time.

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