I do…

In a time when the news is overrun with reports of less than honorable behavior by politicians and leaders; widespread violence; and devastation from war, poverty, and natural disaster, it was refreshing to receive word of a family member’s engagement to marry. It was such wonderful news! What a great reminder of the love and good that still exists despite all that would seek to destroy it. Yes, there is always light.

Delighted for this newly engaged couple, I recall, so vividly, the day my oldest nephew was born. I had just finished taking a final exam for a course titled, “Western Civilization.” Upon opening the door to my dorm room, there were two blue paper balloons that my roommates had taped to the wall. They exclaimed, “Congratulations, Aunt Carissa!” “It’s a boy!” I will always remember what a joy the news of my nephew’s birth was. It was of the same magnitude and kind of joy that has accompanied each of the births in the family that has followed.

What a blessing new life is, bringing excitement and hope…also gratitude. Any time there is a birth of any sort (a child, an idea, a beginning) there is beauty in the moment, pure love, and the promise of possibility. These all seem to exceed by far any potential obstacles or pitfalls that may come down the road.

As I look back to what was, and then to all that is, I recall at different points wondering…worrying…about the future. I remember, especially around my own engagement, there were so many thoughts beginning with the word, “How.” How will we afford a home? How will we provide for a family? There were so many questions. There are still so many unknowns. Then I think, “We first began, and then we took one step at a time.”

I feel grateful for Grace that leads the way, the faith that grows as we continue the journey, and the examples of both those that came before us, and those who walk beside us. Bit by bit, step-by-step, slowly, but surely things that seem to be so far away or even impossible at times become reality.

“Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi.

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Wondrous…

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather,
“I am in the heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love,
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
– Kahlil Gibran

A young seal slowly traverses the sand toward the shore. A sight I have never seen before in the location where I stand. As it journeys, it pauses along the way, sometimes a longer, more drawn out pause, as if it were giving up. The three to four hundred feet to the shore seem more like miles as I observe. The seal is not alone though. With each stop, a steady, patient companion encourages the seal on, and soon a couple more join in support.

As I witness this journey from sand to shore, it makes me think of what happens when one catches a fish. As it is reeled in and out of the water, you can see it floundering. Then as it is removed from the hook or net, it continues to flounder back and forth, with even more vigor. However, once it is released back into water, it finds its bearings and once again, it swims.

We all have moments in life where we flounder as well as moments where we see others floundering. In some of those times, we may be close by or intimately involved and in other times, we may be watching from a distance. In either case, we can pray in a way that is up close and personal. Whether we realize it or not, our hopes and prayers are often the beginning steps toward God’s wondrous love flowing through us.

When we begin with and persevere with prayer, the path frequently becomes clear, showing us when and where it is time to act and when and where it is time to stand by, silently supporting and encouraging or allowing others to support and encourage us…waiting with hope and confidence…always trusting that we will reach the sea.

seal

“What wondrous love is this” arranged by Peder Eide

What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!

What wondrous love is this
That caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul!

When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down Beneath God’s righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul, for my soul,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul.

What wondrous love,
What wondrous love is this.

To God and to the Lamb I will sing, I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb,
Who is the great I AM,
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing,
While millions join the theme, I will sing.

To God and to the Lamb I will sing.

In the Clouds…

A calm peaceful feeling stirs within as I watch the clouds make their way across the light blue sky on a breezy, sunny Sunday morning. Looking on I see clouds that vary in size, some even appearing to stretch…grow…spread out as they drift by. How similar to life.

Each event in one’s life varies. Although some experiences may seem to be the same or “repeats,” oftentimes there is something, even if ever so slight, that differs. The opportunity for change, of any kind, is always within and around us.

Some days there are storm clouds. Other days there are puffy, cotton ball clouds that seem like a soft place to rest. Then there are the streaking, strained or dissipating clouds, and still, other days there are no clouds at all. Whatever the day, the clouds are always passing. Sometimes they pass slowly and sometimes more quickly. What remains throughout and beyond though, is hope…possibility…Light.

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.”
– Walt Whitman

Clouds

A Broad View…

Sometimes the happenings in the world, or even in one’s own family, can seem so big or unmanageable. They can bear down, throwing things out of whack, making them, and us, off balance or unsettled. We all can experience times of feeling swallowed up or spit out and washed up.

In such times it can be easy to place a lot of importance and attention on where we are and what is happening rather than on whom we really are and, “all that we can be.” Still, we must remember, calling ourselves to the truth, that we are much more than the happenings in our lives and times. They, the externals, are not a reflection of who we are. However, the way in which we respond is.

Oftentimes stepping back and taking the time to look within enables us to look up, and out, with a renewed perspective, a greater sense of inner strength and insight or wisdom…making it possible to once again, carry on with greater confidence and hope.

“I am the eagle, I live in high country in rocky cathedrals that reach to the sky.
I am the hawk, and there’s blood on my feathers.
But time is still turning, they soon will be dry.
And all those who see me, and all who believe in me
share in the freedom I feel when I fly.

Come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops.
Sail o’er the canyons and up to the stars.
And reach for the heavens and hope for the future
and all that we can be, and not what we are.”

– “The Eagle and the Hawk” by John Denver

MountainView

It’s a matter of Light…

Each afternoon as the sun begins its descent, it shines in through one of the side windows on our house. As it does, it reflects off of a crystal prism that resides on the windowsill. The result is an array of light and rainbow spots on the walls and ceiling of the living room. The pattern that is displayed changes depending on whether there is a breeze and the branches of the nearby trees are swaying, and therefore interrupting the flow of light. Whatever the pattern may be, it’s always quite beautiful.

On this particular day as I sit and observe, I wonder to myself, “What do I reflect?” As I think of a particular situation, there is much that quickly comes to mind. I slow down and look more closely. Then, I catch myself. “The things I am afraid of”; that is the category on which I have landed. Could it be that my fears are leading me and guiding my responses when it comes to this situation?

As I look up and around at the reflection of light and color, it becomes clear. Zoom out. Re-focus. “What are my hopes regarding this situation?”

“May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela

Prism

Hope Lake…

Just as the sun draws the mist rising up from the lake on a crisp, cool summer morning in the mountains, I feel hope rising from the depths of my soul. I feel a spirit of inner strength building within as I take in the beauty of creation before me. How good God is!

Of all the things I might say or do, of all the things I might witness or experience, God is the one Truth on which I (we) can always count. So much in the world can be hard, or difficult to understand. There are so many choices, and sometimes, none of them can seem good…noble…just…faithful.

Whether religious or not, we all have some sort of principles that guide us, leading us to make the decisions that we make. The question is who and what is served by the principles that I hold? …and, how do I live by them?

HopeLakeGreekPeakVirgilNYHope Lake ~ New York

 

Angels Among Us…

This past week as my daughter celebrated a birthday, I found myself recalling an experience I had on the day that she was born. The circumstances were such that my husband needed to stay with our 2-year-old son and so my daughter and I were alone at the hospital that night. I remember being exhausted as well as happy and then later, so sad.

No explanation beyond labor for being exhausted. I was happy…grateful…that my daughter had been born and was doing okay and then I felt so sad that my husband wasn’t able to be there for the birth of our daughter. He was able to come for a short visit afterward, but now as the day was coming to end, it was just me and my daughter. We were alone in the room and she still wouldn’t nurse. She kept falling asleep.

At one point, I remember wishing so badly that my husband was there. I was feeling very overwhelmed by the experience of the whole day, and so alone. Then a nurse, one who I had not seen before, came into the room to check on us. She had such a peaceful presence and a gentle smile. During the brief time we interacted my feelings of being overwhelmed disappeared completely. As she was wrapping up and preparing to leave the room, she re-swaddled my daughter and gently handed her to me with a smile. She left and my daughter and I fell sound asleep. When I awoke a few hours later, I felt so refreshed and so at peace, and as my daughter continued not to nurse, I found myself with a renewed patience, and strengthened spirit. It turned out that I never saw the nurse with the peaceful spirit and gentle smile again, but to this day, each time I think of that experience I feel blessed and grateful for the angel sent to me in that hour of need.

As one goes through life, there are many signs; some are acknowledged perhaps almost immediately, some are recognized in time, and some remain hanging in the balance, waiting to be discovered.

“Then Peter recovered his senses and said, ‘Now I know for certain that [the] Lord sent his angel and rescued me…’.” – Acts 12:11

A Needle Pulling Thread…

At times, it can seem like there is a pervasive parasite on the face of society…a force intent on squashing any semblance of collaboration and working with, and out of, a spirit of love. These days it seems to be so rampant, penetrating more and more organizations. It can be disheartening to be involved in organizations where there has been a shift away from what originally drew one to become involved.

It can be challenging when what was once open and above board becomes secretive and closed off or when a place becomes one where who one knows or what one owns holds more weight than doing the work to be done. Even more than trying, it can be downright troubling, in an environment where one would expect the very opposite of what is experienced…sad to feel like one can no longer be involved in something that once brought great joy, meaning and sense of purpose.

So while one may become stuck in the muck that seems to rule the day—politics and ego…territorialism…greed…jealousy, etc.—or surrounded by it, one may also detach from it and look to do good in other ways and in other places. Doing what one can, where one can, as one can, and then perhaps, moving on.

The other day I was speaking with a lifelong friend and she was telling me about some sewing she had done for her niece. She was commenting on how she enjoyed what she had done and was surprised at how the little work she had done (in her eyes) seemed to bring much joy to her niece who was thrilled with the new hemline on her dress. My friend sewed that hemline with joy and love in her heart and her niece received it in kind.

It was uplifting to hear my friend speak of this simple experience. As I listened to her, and in light of some of our prior conversation, I thought, “That is God’s work.” It is not necessarily in a building, through an organization, or even in big things noticeable far and wide, but so often in the little things done with love and joy, and with sincerity in one’s heart.

NeedlePullingThread

Polished Stones…

PLUM2G

I woke up this morning with a U2 song in my head. I was particularly struck by the line, “The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.” As I look at stones collected from a local beach over the past number of years, I love how all the stones, of different shapes, sizes and colors, share a smooth texture. Sometimes I wonder from where each stone may have originated. How far did each one travel along its journey from out in the deep ocean to the sands of the beach? The stones, no matter where they came from or how they started out, all came to be smooth by being tossed about in the sea.

It is interesting how in the same way that the friction caused by water against stone and stone against stone has smoothed the edges over time, adversity can smooth our edges. Adversity can lead to growth.

It seems human nature to prefer the moments of smooth sailing, keeping quiet and avoiding potential conflict. However, as I reflect, it seems like so much more growth comes from moments of standing in the ocean and moving with the waves as they ebb and flow, as they rise and fall with the tide, and crash around during storm surges. Carrying hope in my heart and a desire to be all that I can be (and all that I was created to be) deep within my soul, I am able to own who I am. With each wave, through God’s grace and with openness and acceptance, the jagged edges are smoothed away. I am made new.

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching…” – Ephesians 4:14

Ordinary Love by U2

The sea wants to kiss the golden shore.
The sunlight warms your skin.
All the beauty that’s been lost before, wants to find us again.
I can’t fight you anymore; it’s you I’m fighting for.
The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Birds fly high in the summer sky and rest on the breeze.
The same wind will take care of you and I, we’ll build our house in the trees.
Your heart is on my sleeve, did you put it there with a magic marker.
For years I would believe, that the world, couldn’t wash it away.

Cause we can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

Star of Wonder…

One of my favorite Christmas songs since childhood is “We Three Kings of Orient Are” by John Henry Hopkins, Jr.

I recall singing this song as a child from this small book of Christmas Carols.

ChristmasCarolBook

While the book is worn and yellowing from the years, it still brings back memories of peace, joy, and hope from Christmases past; it also brings forth some sadness in the missing of loved ones who have since passed on. Overall, though, I feel grateful for the many blessings along the way. So many of them, especially from my youth, I could only see after the fact and through hindsight.

Now though, as I remember all that has been and look at all that is in front of me, I am better able to see it for what it was, and what it is. By the Light of God, I see, and am touched most deeply by, the heart of the matter; the sentiment behind each gift, each act, each word. While sometimes the sentiment is one that is not of love and goodwill, and may be painful to receive, when I look at the Light, in time, I am able to move through that pain toward peace, hope and joy once more. When I allow the Light to grow and burn more brightly within me, I am better able to cherish each moment with love and care.

In a society that is constantly screaming, “Bigger! Better! More!,” the 12 days of Christmas are such an opportune time to slow down and to take time to reflect…to seek and to find or re-find the light of the Star and follow it.

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light.

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