Author: Carissa A. Kane

Carissa A. Kanehttps://hopethatfloats.wordpress.comI am passionate about spirituality and the journey to deepen and grow in relationship with God. My desire to live a life rooted in the Divine, and to journey with others who wish to do so, has grown, as have I, through the joys and sorrows, the struggles, victories and challenges of life. I feel blessed to be a child of God, wife, mother, writer, spiritual director, and retreat director.
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What Instrument Will I Be?

Throughout the past week, I found myself feeling so inspired by the words of Pope Francis during his visit to the United States of America. I continue to find, as many others do, his message and his manner so appealing. There is no duplicity in him, or at least it seems that way. He preaches, and from all evidence, lives a life of love and mercy and promotes peace and unity.

Pope Francis exudes the essence of one who is centered in prayer, has a desire to remain faithful to God, and is filled with and guided by the Holy Spirit. He is inclusive and calls us to look beyond ourselves to focus on the common good. He challenges us to be faithful to God and sets an example through his own actions. Not only that, but what makes his words and actions even more meaningful (at least to me), he does all of this, without making it about himself. All that he says and does seems to point to something greater…to God.

“Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.” – Matthew 5:16

What a great example! One that extends to more than just one group of people, one that is so life giving and aspires a closer relationship with God and others. Pope Francis calls us to be true to who God created us to be. To have a Pope named Francis, who comes to us in the name of God, through Jesus and with the Holy Spirit, at this time in history, how fitting!

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

– Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

The Bottom Line…

“It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important.
You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power,
may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that
doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never
know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing,
there will be no result.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

In what seems like a win-at-all-costs society and in situations where it seems like the odds of existing, and being part of, with authenticity and integrity are slim to none, it can be hard to know what to do. It can also be very tempting to throw my hands up, pull back or walk away and fall prey to a “why bother?” attitude and to think, “what difference does it make?”

As I sit with the question, “When is it okay for me to walk away?” and pray about a particular situation, I think of a quote I saw recently, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” (Edward Everett Hale, American politician). As I think about this quote, I take a turn and my prayer moves to the questions, “Is there anything I can do? What can I do before deciding whether or not to walk away?”

I can speak up, sharing with those involved and privy to the situation what is in my heart and on my mind with love, care and concern, regardless of what may or may not come of it. My words may not make a difference in a way that I can see now, in a way that I might ever see, or at all. If I speak up though, and what I say is rooted in prayer and consistent with the words and example of the Divine, I give voice to the Truth that has arisen from within me. Then, if I do end up walking away, at least I can do so with a greater sense of freedom and no regrets. I can be at peace knowing that I saw something, it did not hold up when I held it up to the Light, and at a time and in a way in which I felt called to do so, I shared my concerns and spoke my piece regarding it.

So what is left? If I am looking toward what I can do, I can continue to pray for a positive and life-giving resolution, whatever that may be. I can also continue to ask God for the grace to trust that I did what I felt called to do and that God will do what is best, and when it is best, for all involved. In addition, I can continue to wait to make a decision about walking away. God helped me to know when to speak and what to say. “Certainly,” I tell myself, “God will help me to know when it is time to walk away.” My job for now is to wait and listen.

“The seed is the word of God.” – Luke 8:11

The seed is given to me (to us) through Scripture, prayer and revelation. It is a gift from God. What am I to do with it? First, and foremost, listen to it (be still and be aware)…embrace it with a heart of love (be open to it)…persevere in it and through it (be faithful, be patient and trust). These are all things that I can do. When I do them, what to do, eventually, becomes clear.

An Unobstructed View…

A good number of years ago, over twenty, I ventured out into the mountains with a friend. We were going to hike a trail that went up higher than what I had ever hiked before. I remember setting out very determined. I was going to conquer this mountain if it killed me. Well, it almost did!

After going quite a long way up the mountain, head down, fists mostly clenched, consumed with getting to the top, I almost walked right off the mountain. Had it not been for my hiking partner calling my name (I remember feeling so annoyed and at first ignoring him) and finally yelling at me to stop, a couple of more steps and I would have stepped over the edge into the abyss below.

As I look back at that experience, I feel grateful that I was hiking with someone who knew the way and truly had my best interest in mind. Thank God! What I did not know at the time was that my approach was misguided. It was good to have a sense of determination and a strong will to reach the summit. However, it was not good to be so consumed with accomplishing the task that I could not see value in anything else along the way.

So what did I miss along the way? There were spots where one could stop and take in the beautiful views and there were fellow hikers wanting to share a smile and say hello. I did not have time for that though. I just wanted to get to the top. The places to pause and the fellow hikers with their kind gestures and attempted interactions seemed more like obstacles, hindering me from reaching the goal than anything else. At the time, I did not see them as gifts along the trail…hidden jewels waiting to be seen or heard, and capable of adding richness and providing respite, strengthening and enlivening me for the remainder of the journey.

I could not see the splendor on the way up the mountain, but my hiking partner could, and all those taking in the views or sharing friendly gestures and words along the way could. I learned so much from Brian and the other hikers on the mountain that day. I was holding on so tightly to the notion of overcoming the obstacles along the way and succeeding…getting to the top…that everyone and everything around me appeared as enemies instead of the friend, the resting spots, and the friendly faces placed along the way.

It is interesting how sometimes the “enemy” on the outside is not the enemy at all, or pales in comparison to the enemy within. Also oftentimes, the best way up the mountain is with a wide lens view with stops all along the way rather than quick, straight, and in a tunnel. Most importantly, when traveling with God, the goal never becomes an obstruction.

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Rending My Heart…

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I recently had the opportunity to spend a few days in the mountains, and although I love the ocean, the sound of waves, the scenery and all that comes with being seaside, I always find the mountains so incredibly awe-inspiring. As I take in the beauty of creation, I find myself at peace, breathing easy and feeling such a sense of gratitude. Cares and concerns gradually melt away, as I journey to the top of the mountain. It is as if my heart is preparing to open wide, wider than seems possible, to receive the magnificence of God.

“Rend not your garments, rend your hearts.
Turn back your lives to me.” – Joel 2:13

While it is good for me to retreat to the mountains, the ocean, or other such places for the peace, healing and strengthening that only God can bring, I know that eventually, I must return. Sometimes I find it hard to come back down that mountain. It is so much easier, peaceful and distraction-free, to be in the world, when you are standing on what seems like the top of the world. Still though, I must go back. My work is elsewhere.

At a lower altitude, and reflecting on the peace and joy of being mountainside, I find myself feeling grateful first, and then sad at not being able to stay; then, led by the Spirit and through the grace of God, my attention shifts. I am not alone. I start to think of the people, places and things through which I experience the mountaintop within the busyness of everyday life. They are gifts from God. They are food for the journey, providing support and encouragement, and challenging me to remain hopeful, faithful, and fruitful. Praise God!

Led by the Spirit – by Bob Hurd

Led by the Spirit of our God,
we go to fast and pray
With Christ into the wilderness;
we join His paschal way.
“Rend not your garments, rend your hearts.
Turn back your lives to me.”
Thus says our kind and gracious God,
whose reign is liberty.

Led by the Spirit,
we confront temptation face to face,
And know full well we must
rely on God’s redeeming grace.
On bread alone we cannot live,
but nourished by the Word.
We seek the will of God to do:
this is our drink and food.

Led by the Spirit,
now draw near the waters of rebirth
With hearts that long to worship God
in spirit and in truth.
“Whoever drinks the drink
I give shall never thirst again.”
Thus says the Lord who died for us,
our Savior, kin and friend.

Led by the Spirit,
now sing praise to God the Trinity:
The Source of Life,
the living Word made flesh to set us free,
The Spirit blowing where it will
to make us friends of God:
This mystery far beyond our reach,
yet near in healing love.

What is Love?

My faith tells me that God is Love, but what does it really mean to me, in this world, to be loved and what does a relationship that embodies love look like? Is it one in which whatever I do and say is okay and praised by the other? One that is free from struggle, obstacles or disagreement along the way? “No,” and “No,” I do not believe so.

In looking around and considering society and relationships, sometimes “unconditional love” is twisted to justify words and actions that are self-serving and self-centered. Sometimes it is used to justify silence and inaction in the face of injustice or wrongdoing. Unconditional love does not mean saying “Yes” all the time. Although it is boundless or unrestricted, it calls us to say and to hear “No,” at times when we do not want to as well as to say and hear “Yes,” at times when we would rather not. Either way, it calls me to recognize that there is a time and a place for me, for us, and others, to be challenged…to be called to peel back the layers and look more closely at the root or the source that is driving us and motivating us.

On the surface, unconditional love may be mistaken for blanket approval. However, the road that is paved both on the surface and with nothing but approval and praise at every turn is called deceit. It leads to sinkholes, degrades the conscience, encourages indifference and ultimately, leads to defeat.

To the contrary, unconditional love does not need to be covered up. Where it exists, pretending, hiding or the stifling of thoughts and feelings, cannot. That is because its very nature calls for acceptance, honesty, and forthrightness; not exclusive of each other, but altogether and intertwined with each other.

So how can one know or sense the presence of unconditional love? For starters, where unconditional love exists, there is freedom…freedom to be oneself, but never at the expense of others and always alongside them. Another telltale sign, true love is never in a vacuum. It extends beyond oneself and beyond the relationship. Finally, and most importantly, unconditional love is always through the grace of God. Pray for it and you will receive it. Cherish it and it will flow through you.

“…Love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.” – 1 Timothy 1:5  

I’m Listening (or at least trying)…

When God calls us, it is never in vain. No matter what God asks of us, it comes with a promise that we will not walk alone. God walks with us, strengthens us and enables us to answer the call as we go along. When we feel as if we are walking alone, it is often at our own hands. We have run ahead or stopped listening, leaving God behind. In those moments, we need to slow down and wait for God’s direction. It will come; eventually it always does.

Just this past week, I wrote the above statement. It is a belief that has formed and grown stronger over time and I have come to embrace it with all of my heart and soul. How can I be sure of it? How or when will God’s direction come? I cannot say. The answer is different for each person and each situation. Part of it is, and will remain, mystery. While I do not know all the details, I do know, and believe, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the answer will come through prayer…answered prayer. Whether it is through my own prayer or that of others praying for me, or another, or a particular situation, God hears all those prayers and answers them in ways that are far greater than we could ever imagine and that are for the benefit of all involved, and beyond, even if we cannot see it. All we have to do is look at history, our own, and that of the world around us, to see God’s boundless mercy, love, compassion… the hand of God.

If there is one thing that experience has taught me, it is that when I place my hope and trust in God, any situation, no matter how “good” or “bad” it appears, can be a blessing. God’s faithfulness to God’s people (each, and every, person who humbly calls out to God, with a sincere, open heart) throughout history, despite our shortcomings, is truly amazing. Think about it.

In what ways has God blessed us throughout our lifetime? In what ways has God rescued us from the wilderness? What can we do with the gifts and blessings we have been granted?

Recently, I saw this quote, “All through nature, you will find the same law. First the need, then the means.” (Robert Collier, Author). While there may be a temptation to attribute “the means” (or the answer) to people of great knowledge, great wealth, or great luck, I cannot help but think of the Great Creator. That is, the One who not only loved us into existence, but who also grants us the time, the talent, and the heart to find a way to meet the need without becoming self-centered and self-serving.

What wondrous things occur when we cooperate with the grace of God! When we answer that call…respond to that nudge, or when we simply start the day, or whatever situation we find ourselves in, whether it is in waiting for direction or moving into action, with, “Here I am, Lord. Help me to desire that which You desire. Let Thy will be done through me.”

The Summons (lyrics by John L. Bell & Graham Maule)

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the “you” you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I’ll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow in you and you in me.    

Follow The Yellow Brick Road…

As The Wizard of Oz cast took their bows, I felt a surge of emotion. What a blessing to witness such a production and to see the smiles on all of those faces. In the moments before the curtain closed, I found myself holding back tears as I marveled at the journey to this point.

While I only know the specifics of the journey and the growth that belongs to two of those many faces, I found myself feeling so happy for, and proud of, all of them…the whole team. I had seen the way they worked together and encouraged each other. My heart so touched by it.

In just three short weeks, there were roles assigned, parts learned, direction given and taken, and a whole lot of collaborating, cooperating and working together. Talk about tasting and seeing the goodness of God! There was value placed in every part of the show from the smallest of roles to the biggest; no one part was bigger than the whole.

These children and teens led by young adults had accomplished what often seems to be virtually impossible in the adult world. That is, genuine harmony (not just getting along to go along). They were able to focus on being the best they could be, individually and collectively; and never at the expense of any one member. They were able to cheer each other on, lift each other up, and to see and celebrate each other’s gifts.

They did not tear each other down. They did not allow their differences or envy, jealousy, fear, anxiety, or insecurity to get in the way. No, instead they were driven by the common desire for the show to succeed. This did not mean there were to be no mistakes or that there was an expectation of perfection. In fact, one of my favorite moments of the show was when something did not go according to plan and everyone rallied around each other and improvised. There were no fingers pointing or eyes rolling. It was so interesting, too, to see how the vibe from the backstage and then the stage carried over into the audience. It was so refreshing to be in such a positive, life-giving environment.

So how did this happen? I believe it happened by adhering to the golden rule and treating each, and every, person with dignity and respect. That is what good leaders do. Not only that, but they also inspire others to follow their example. Thank you, Heather for allowing the Spirit of God to shine, lighting the way for others.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

“In the end, a life of prayer is a life with open hands—a life where we are not ashamed of our weaknesses but realize that it is more perfect for us to be led by the Other than to try to hold everything in our own hands.” – Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of what I want, or what I deem as necessary. It’s funny though, when I do let go, I almost always end up getting what I really needed, but didn’t know I needed it, until I got it.

I cannot help but wonder, what causes me to have tunnel vision at times? What is it that causes me to be trapped in a line of thinking? Invariably, it comes down to judgments…judgments based on MY perspective.

What is it that prevents me from looking beyond my perspective, at times, causing me to put myself in a box, limiting myself, and others? A broad perspective makes a world of difference. Perhaps that is why time heals all wounds. When I can take a step back and look from more than one angle it is often to the benefit of all involved.

Perspective! It is interesting how two people can hear (or see), the same thing but notice or perceive it in ways that are very different. We all have our own perspectives, but so often, it seems the tendency is to name one as being right and dismiss the other as being wrong. I wonder what causes this and how much is overlooked or missed in this process.

What would happen if the process was slowed down? If judgment was suspended and a closer look was given to that which is so readily dismissed? Could we…would we, find some value in it?

What kind of difference might doing so make? Could there be learning and growth waiting for all parties involved? What would happen if the focus shifted away from the judgment of right and wrong, or any other kind of labeling, until after previous notions and ideas are let go, and honest consideration is given across the board?

How might things be different if the starting place was more consistently one of seeing each other as being created in the image of God, and trying to receive and respond to each other with openness in our hearts and a genuine desire to try to see or hear from each other’s perspective? Not only trying to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, but actually letting the other person help us to do so. That is, instead of judging or tossing aside the other’s point of view, or assuming we know what it is like, saying, “Tell me more,” “What do you mean?” or “Help me to understand your experience of this situation?”

I wonder, how often, when people or things are tossed aside and deemed “unworthy” are we unknowingly, saying “No” to the Spirit of God within another…or within ourselves?

There Will Be An Answer…

“There will be an answer. Let it be.” – Paul McCartney

Trust that there will be an answer. Wait for it. That can be so hard at times, especially living in a “right here, right now” world. A fast paced, blink and you will miss it, world.

There are so many sayings about time…time is of the essence…once you lose time you cannot get it back…time waits for nobody…so little time, so much to do, and so on. What, then, is essential for me to do with my time? Perhaps it is choosing wisely how to spend it…something that, yes, takes time.

“For thus said the Lord GOD,
the Holy One of Israel:
By waiting and by calm you shall be saved,
in quiet and in trust shall be your strength.
But this you did not will.” – Isaiah 30:15

What makes it so difficult, at times, for me not only to wait, but also to trust that, as I wait, an answer is on its way? Not only does Scripture tell me to wait for the Lord, trusting in divine providence and grace:

“Truly, the LORD is waiting to be gracious to you,
truly, he shall rise to show you mercy;
For the LORD is a God of justice:
happy are all who wait for him!” – Isaiah 30:18

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you:
“This is the way; walk in it,”
when you would turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21

but when I take the time to reflect, so does my life experience. So often, taking the time to slow down, to continue to pray and to discern, and to wait for God instead of jumping into the fast lane and forging ahead as the world would have me, has lead me to a better answer…a better decision, than I could have devised solely, on my own. By allowing time, that precious time, and waiting, I have often been granted an answer… a nudge…a tweak to my original course of action or plan that has made a difference for the better and made waiting not only worthwhile, but also a gift…a blessing.

When I am feeling impatient and pressured by the ticking of the clock, I need to call myself back to the truth. I need to remember how good God has been to me. To remain faithful and trust that God will continue to be good to me, and perhaps most importantly, I need to cherish the time I spend waiting. I need to toss aside the clock and trust in God’s time.

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Who Am I?

“To be nobody but myself–in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else–means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting.” – e.e. cummings

As I look around, so often it seems like what I do matters more than, “who I am.”

I am, first, and foremost, a child of God. Then, a daughter, wife, mother, aunt, friend and neighbor, and the list goes on. There was a time when my list would have started with my job title and then worked its way back with “child of God” being somewhere further back on the list, maybe even last. While in lots of ways, I was a success, having all the “necessities” of life and more, I was not happy. I did not have a happiness (or joy) that permeated my being…only a surface happiness. I recall thinking, at times, “There has to be more to life than this. This can’t be all there is.”

There was something missing. Come to find out, God was missing. No, actually, God was not missing. God was there, but I was not inviting God into my daily life. Despite attending Sunday Mass, I had no relationship with God, or at least not one that had any depth to it. I find it interesting that as I have worked to deepen my relationship with God, I have not only come to learn more about God, but have also come to see, more and more, who I am at the core of my being. In addition, I have come to see the gifts God has given to me as well as to consider how God might be calling me to use them in a way that is beneficial for me, and the people, and the world, around me. In chapter 1, verse 27, in the Book of Genesis, the Bible states:

“God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”

What does it mean to me to be created in the likeness of God? While this may seem like a simple question, it cannot be answered without digging a little deeper. I need to have some idea of the following: What do I believe about God? How have I experienced God? Who has God been to me? and who is God to me now?

In my own life, I have found that putting my relationship with God at the center of my life…staying connected…listening and speaking with God and spending time with God’s Word, which has led to taking in, with new eyes and ears, the beauty of all of creation, has been the key to experiencing true happiness in life. That is, a sense of peace and well-being, that no amount of money or earthly people or things could give. This is not to say that everything goes my way all the time, but as “being a child of God” has moved forward on my list of who I am, whether things go my way or not is becoming less relevant.

St. Paul says, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful.” (Col 3:12-15)

When I am able to hold fast to these truths, having only goodwill in my heart, nothing can harm me or take away who I am…who God created me to be, and…I am truly happy. There is no better feeling than that of joy in the Lord. Praise God!

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But Moses said to God, “Who am I…” – Exodus 3:11