Openness

Wisdom from the woods…

As a child I recall playing with friends in the woods and walking across fallen trees or planks of wood from one point to another and sometimes over water. I don’t recall how high up “the bridges” were, but I do remember us pretending that we were walking on a tightrope high up in the air. I also recall sledding down what seemed like a mountain in those same woods while trying to avoid the many trees of varying size that were all around and between us.

Sometimes situations in life can feel like walking on a tightrope or through a mine field. It’s interesting how as a child the idea of walking a tightrope or sledding downhill and maneuvering around many obstacles can seem so much more exciting and feel so much more inviting and adventurous compared to as an adult. It’s as if once one realizes all that could go wrong, a door is shut, or at least becomes one that is not so readily opened or chosen. This is not necessarily a bad thing in terms of physical activities as older bodies are not often as agile and quick to bounce back as youthful ones. However, it can become a bad thing if it spreads into other areas of life and limits one’s openness.

An aging body does not need to become an aging spirit. So while I can no longer move through the woods with almost reckless…carefree abandon as I used to, I can still move through each day that life has to offer with a youthful, free spirit. I can continue to become both stronger in spirit and wiser with each year even when I don’t feel full of the almost boundless energy of my younger years. Despite my increasing age, I can continue to carry on with youthful hope and optimism, celebrating life, channeling the energy that I do have, and being grateful. Through the grace of God, no matter the circumstances, I can always live life to the fullest whether walking on a tightrope or standing on solid ground in ways that perhaps were not possible in my youth. The choice is mine.

“The child grew and became strong in spirit…” – Luke 1:80

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Dinosaurs and Birds…

“None of us is as smart as all of us.” – Ken Blanchard

In the course of being part of many different kinds of groups over the years, in both the for profit and non-profit arenas, as well as for business, ministry, and pleasure, it has been interesting to see how the spirit in which the group members come together far outweighs any talent, intellect, or circumstances that may come into play. More often than not, it does not matter how difficult the goal is to reach or the obstacles that may be present so much as it does the spirit and attitude with which each member enters and participates in the group.

In groups where members have helped to shape a clearly stated purpose(s) and remained focused on it while embracing diversity, listening to one another, and being open to the sharing of ideas and different approaches, seeing them as opportunities from which something might be gleaned, even if they seemed foreign to some within the group, much has been accomplished. Not only that, but through meaningful communication and working together, bonds have developed between group members. Through a spirit of cooperation, each individual has been better for having been part of the group. In addition, the fruit of the group has served a greater purpose; it reaches beyond the group.

In groups where this has not happened, far less has been accomplished and members have often either walked away in frustration or stayed, but with a diminished spirit and sense of purpose. Usually, these members become occasional participants or observers (more on the outside) rather than an active, engaged part of the group. Also operating within these kinds of groups, and larger than the collective purpose of the group, is often a smaller group of two or three driving things mostly to the exclusion of the rest of the group and all that others might bring to the table. There is not much working together in a sustainable way and the fruit of the group, as related to its purpose, doesn’t reach very far and is little to none.

The other day, a friend and I were talking about how sometimes it can be hard to know when to walk away and when to stay. Initially we talked about what would happen if more often than not people walked away. Then we discussed what it is like when they stay, diminished in spirit, present but not really vested; an environment of apathy. The more we talked the more we agreed that the latter was worse, but still as with most situations, for each seeker, eventually the path becomes clear and the way made known.

As I continue to reflect on our discussion, I think about how people and things come and go…as they have since the beginning. Then, I remember, as another friend said a while ago, sometimes it has to die in order to be born again with a new, enlivened spirit. Perhaps the choice is not to leave or to stay, but to embrace and face the unknown and the uncertain (death of what is known and of what we are sure) or to become extinct. For that, the location makes no difference…only the spirit.

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Connections; Key Along the Way…

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Ezekiel connected dem dry bones,
Ezekiel connected dem dry bones,
Ezekiel in the Valley of Dry Bones,
Now hear the word of the Lord.

Toe bone connected to the foot bone
Foot bone connected to the heel bone
Heel bone connected to the ankle bone
Ankle bone connected to the shin bone
Shin bone connected to the knee bone
Knee bone connected to the thigh bone
Thigh bone connected to the hip bone
Hip bone connected to the back bone
Back bone connected to the shoulder bone
Shoulder bone connected to the neck bone
Neck bone connected to the head bone
Now hear the word of the Lord.

Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around.
Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around.
Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around.
Now hear the word of the Lord.

—“Dem Bones” by James Weldon Johnson

Connections are vital for all living things. Our connections to people, places, and things often have great impact on our decisions and choices as we journey through life. Sometimes this can be a good thing, leading us to greater union with the Divine. Other times it can be a bad thing, pulling us away or clouding our vision from that which would lead us closer to God.

Whether someone of great experience or someone just starting out on her or his spiritual journey, like Ezekiel, we can all find ourselves in a valley of dry bones. It can be within us or around us. No matter how advanced we are—or we might think we are—if we are being honest, none of us are immune.

What exactly are dry bones? To me, dry bones are bones that cease to be aware or to be open to experiencing or learning something new. Dry bones shut out and close down. But dry bones are not hopeless or beyond repair. The choice is theirs.

It is only through slowing down and taking a closer look that we are able discover which connections are helpful and healthy, which might require some work, and which ones may be faulty or have become blocked and are no longer life-giving. None of this is possible though, without the most important part, listening, and the most important connection, “Now hear the word of the Lord.”

Bones full of life, rooted and strengthened or renewed in God, remain hopeful, see possibility, and recognize importance in both the big and the small. Bones full of life know that no connection is wasted and that each one holds something sacred. “Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around!”

*The above is adapted from a post that I wrote for Spiritual Directors International’s blog and that was published on April 20.

 

 

Polished Stones…

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I woke up this morning with a U2 song in my head. I was particularly struck by the line, “The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.” As I look at stones collected from a local beach over the past number of years, I love how all the stones, of different shapes, sizes and colors, share a smooth texture. Sometimes I wonder from where each stone may have originated. How far did each one travel along its journey from out in the deep ocean to the sands of the beach? The stones, no matter where they came from or how they started out, all came to be smooth by being tossed about in the sea.

It is interesting how in the same way that the friction caused by water against stone and stone against stone has smoothed the edges over time, adversity can smooth our edges. Adversity can lead to growth.

It seems human nature to prefer the moments of smooth sailing, keeping quiet and avoiding potential conflict. However, as I reflect, it seems like so much more growth comes from moments of standing in the ocean and moving with the waves as they ebb and flow, as they rise and fall with the tide, and crash around during storm surges. Carrying hope in my heart and a desire to be all that I can be (and all that I was created to be) deep within my soul, I am able to own who I am. With each wave, through God’s grace and with openness and acceptance, the jagged edges are smoothed away. I am made new.

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching…” – Ephesians 4:14

Ordinary Love by U2

The sea wants to kiss the golden shore.
The sunlight warms your skin.
All the beauty that’s been lost before, wants to find us again.
I can’t fight you anymore; it’s you I’m fighting for.
The sea throws rocks together but time, leaves us polished stones.

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Birds fly high in the summer sky and rest on the breeze.
The same wind will take care of you and I, we’ll build our house in the trees.
Your heart is on my sleeve, did you put it there with a magic marker.
For years I would believe, that the world, couldn’t wash it away.

Cause we can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

We can’t fall any further if, we can’t feel ordinary love.
And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love.

Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?
Are we tough enough, for ordinary love?

Blossoming Day by Day…

“Where flowers bloom, so does hope” – Lady Bird Johnson

About a week ago, I received a gift of flowers—pink, red and white tulips. When I first opened the box in which they were delivered, the tulips were cold and the petals closed like a clenched fist, but still beautiful. After cutting the end of each stem at an angle, I placed the tulips in a glass vase with plant food and some water. I continued to add water as needed and in the warmth of my home, the petals loosened over the course of the week. Each flower transitioned from being fully closed to being in a state of full bloom; different then when they first arrived…even more beautiful.

Thinking back over the course of the past week, it strikes me that the tulips needed much more water in the first day or two than they did in the days beyond that. I remember at times looking at the flowers and the vase, and feeling surprised that more water was needed again. In fact, I think I added water 2-3 times in those first couple of days.

As I sit facing what are now fully opened tulips, I think about the work required to get to this point. I needed to continue to add water to the vase while the flowers needed to continue to take the water in. There was collaboration. Both things needed to occur in order for the tulips to fully open.

Overall, one might say that the environment needed to be conducive to growth. That is, there needed to be give and take, and room for change…inside (the vase) as well as outside. It is not really all that much different from human relationships. When the environment is conducive, it is much easier to work together, to give and take, and to allow room for change in a manner in which all may flourish.

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Tradition, Tradition…Tradition!

A number of years ago I went to see a production of Fiddler on the Roof at a local theatre. Since then, every so often I catch the movie, usually at some point after the beginning or midway thru, on television. In fact, it has become somewhat of a regular occurrence for me to see or listen to at least part, if not all, of Fiddler on the Roof once or twice a year…Ah, tradition!

As this past year wound down and we moved from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, tradition has been very much in the air. I guess it is every year though. However, as I live and breathe, and think about tradition, I cannot help but “feel” tradition.

Tradition is so much more than the same thing over and over, and over. The heart and soul of it is the spirit of it…the sentiment, memories and feelings that accompany tradition. It is not all about keeping everything the same as it was before, but rather about coming together in the same spirit as before.

Continuing to ponder tradition, I envision the lighting of the torch at the Olympic Games. While the games always start with the lighting of the torch and end with the extinguishing of the flame, these two events and pretty much everything in between are never really the same from one Olympic Games to another. The location, costumes, and uniforms change. Sometimes variations are made to the rules or scoring rubrics and events are added or dropped.

As I sit with this image, it seems to me that one surefire way to kill a tradition is to keep it unchanged, year after year, after year. As time goes by, the focus may shift from the spirit of the tradition to the material of the tradition (the things and steps involved in making it all happen the same way). When that happens, the Spirit is shutout and the decline begins. Then tradition cannot help but lose what makes it special, becoming rote and more of a chore than something to which one looks forward or wants to embrace and celebrate.

Simply put, without substance and without room for change or growth, anything, even the most cherished tradition, will eventually become extinct. All things evolve.

“Tradition, which is always old, is at the same time ever new because it is always reviving – born again in each new generation, to be lived and applied in a new and particular way…Tradition nourishes the life of the spirit; convention merely disguises its interior decay.” – Thomas Merton

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The Eye of the Beholder…

UpsideDownIMG_1486      RightSideUpIMG_1486

Sometimes right side up or upside down does not matter. Sometimes either way can make sense or be beautiful…either way can be a good thing.

I wonder how often people are discouraged, turned away or dismissed as not having the “right stuff” simply because of another’s inability to look beyond a piece(s) of the entire picture.

There is a saying about not judging a person by their appearance, but in this Year of Mercy, what about not judging a person, period? The thing is that no matter what I see in someone, or know of someone, I am not them. I do not know every step they have walked and what those steps have been like, and most importantly, I do not know what is in their hearts.

In addition, no matter how much I think I might know, the fact of the matter is, that I (we) very rarely have the whole picture. Without that, without taking the time to inquire and to look more closely, all we really have are assumptions and judgments, and all they do is limit the openness we have to another and the gifts he or she brings to this world. For all we know, we are holding each other back from being all we can be, and certainly, that must have a collective effect.

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Imagine a world where everyone replaced time spent judging, assessing and competing with one another with time spent encouraging, helping one another and sharing our gifts, talents, time, and treasure…our faith, hope, and love. The times in which we live would be drastically different. The world would be on fire!

While one may think, “Fantasy!” They may be right. It may seem, and probably is, too idealistic and highly unlikely for such a change to occur throughout the world, by what seems like the hands of a few. However, it is not impossible.

It all starts with faith…faith in God, in oneself and in each other. We are created in God’s image. Surely, God’s grace rests upon us and is within us. It enables us to see clearly…to see the whole picture and makes us capable of having hearts that are wide like God’s mercy.

Lord, in this Year of Mercy, and beyond, help us to set the world on fire with hearts more deeply rooted in You.

There’s a wideness in God’s mercy
like the wideness of the sea;
there’s a kindness in his justice,
which is more than liberty.

There is welcome for the sinner,
and more graces for the good;
there is mercy with the Savior;
there is healing in his blood.

There is no place where earth’s sorrows
are more felt than in heaven;
there is no place where earth’s failings
have such kind judgment given.

There is plentiful redemption
in the blood that has been shed;
there is joy for all the members
in the sorrows of the Head.

For the love of God is broader
than the measure of man’s mind;
and the heart of the Eternal
is most wonderfully kind.

If our love were but more faithful,
we should take him at his word;
and our life would be thanksgiving
for the goodness of the Lord.

— Frederick William Faber

 

 

 

 

Take Flight and Soar…

If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts. – Psalm 98:5

While I was searching for a photo, I came across a few that one of my brothers-in-law had taken and sent to the family a couple of years ago…an eagle taking flight.

Looking at the images, “God is in charge.” These are the words that pop into my mind. Such a freeing thought. God is in charge. God who created the eagle and not only gave it wings to fly, but also to soar. As I ponder how magnificent it is to see the eagle take flight and soar, I believe that God has the same in mind for all creation. How inspiring, filled with hope, and so grateful to God it makes me feel.

There is excitement as I step in to all that this day holds, both the known and the unknown. I wonder, “Will I recognize the gifts and blessings around me in the midst of all that is on my plate today? How will I cooperate with God?” Then I stop myself. I call myself back to the eagle in flight, about to soar, and I think, “Let go and let God.” How freeing!

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Photos courtesy of DMB

The Bottom Line…

“It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important.
You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power,
may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that
doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never
know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing,
there will be no result.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

In what seems like a win-at-all-costs society and in situations where it seems like the odds of existing, and being part of, with authenticity and integrity are slim to none, it can be hard to know what to do. It can also be very tempting to throw my hands up, pull back or walk away and fall prey to a “why bother?” attitude and to think, “what difference does it make?”

As I sit with the question, “When is it okay for me to walk away?” and pray about a particular situation, I think of a quote I saw recently, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” (Edward Everett Hale, American politician). As I think about this quote, I take a turn and my prayer moves to the questions, “Is there anything I can do? What can I do before deciding whether or not to walk away?”

I can speak up, sharing with those involved and privy to the situation what is in my heart and on my mind with love, care and concern, regardless of what may or may not come of it. My words may not make a difference in a way that I can see now, in a way that I might ever see, or at all. If I speak up though, and what I say is rooted in prayer and consistent with the words and example of the Divine, I give voice to the Truth that has arisen from within me. Then, if I do end up walking away, at least I can do so with a greater sense of freedom and no regrets. I can be at peace knowing that I saw something, it did not hold up when I held it up to the Light, and at a time and in a way in which I felt called to do so, I shared my concerns and spoke my piece regarding it.

So what is left? If I am looking toward what I can do, I can continue to pray for a positive and life-giving resolution, whatever that may be. I can also continue to ask God for the grace to trust that I did what I felt called to do and that God will do what is best, and when it is best, for all involved. In addition, I can continue to wait to make a decision about walking away. God helped me to know when to speak and what to say. “Certainly,” I tell myself, “God will help me to know when it is time to walk away.” My job for now is to wait and listen.

“The seed is the word of God.” – Luke 8:11

The seed is given to me (to us) through Scripture, prayer and revelation. It is a gift from God. What am I to do with it? First, and foremost, listen to it (be still and be aware)…embrace it with a heart of love (be open to it)…persevere in it and through it (be faithful, be patient and trust). These are all things that I can do. When I do them, what to do, eventually, becomes clear.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

“In the end, a life of prayer is a life with open hands—a life where we are not ashamed of our weaknesses but realize that it is more perfect for us to be led by the Other than to try to hold everything in our own hands.” – Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of what I want, or what I deem as necessary. It’s funny though, when I do let go, I almost always end up getting what I really needed, but didn’t know I needed it, until I got it.

I cannot help but wonder, what causes me to have tunnel vision at times? What is it that causes me to be trapped in a line of thinking? Invariably, it comes down to judgments…judgments based on MY perspective.

What is it that prevents me from looking beyond my perspective, at times, causing me to put myself in a box, limiting myself, and others? A broad perspective makes a world of difference. Perhaps that is why time heals all wounds. When I can take a step back and look from more than one angle it is often to the benefit of all involved.

Perspective! It is interesting how two people can hear (or see), the same thing but notice or perceive it in ways that are very different. We all have our own perspectives, but so often, it seems the tendency is to name one as being right and dismiss the other as being wrong. I wonder what causes this and how much is overlooked or missed in this process.

What would happen if the process was slowed down? If judgment was suspended and a closer look was given to that which is so readily dismissed? Could we…would we, find some value in it?

What kind of difference might doing so make? Could there be learning and growth waiting for all parties involved? What would happen if the focus shifted away from the judgment of right and wrong, or any other kind of labeling, until after previous notions and ideas are let go, and honest consideration is given across the board?

How might things be different if the starting place was more consistently one of seeing each other as being created in the image of God, and trying to receive and respond to each other with openness in our hearts and a genuine desire to try to see or hear from each other’s perspective? Not only trying to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, but actually letting the other person help us to do so. That is, instead of judging or tossing aside the other’s point of view, or assuming we know what it is like, saying, “Tell me more,” “What do you mean?” or “Help me to understand your experience of this situation?”

I wonder, how often, when people or things are tossed aside and deemed “unworthy” are we unknowingly, saying “No” to the Spirit of God within another…or within ourselves?