Where are you?

With all the events happening in the world, I find myself wondering, “Why?” or better yet, “What?” What is it that really causes conflict? What is it that turns a situation from being one of working together to one of working against? What is it that divides?

A number of months ago and out of nowhere, I had an experience that blind-sided me. At the time, I felt taken advantage of and betrayed. I had trusted that there was honesty and authenticity, but come to find out, there was not. There was an exchange that started out in what seemed a positive direction, but then it came to light that there was only darkness and deceit on the other side…and hidden underneath that darkness and deceit were assumptions, judgments and misinterpretations driven mostly by fear.

There is the saying, “Money is the root of all evil,” but it certainly seems that fear ought to be right up there next to money, if not above it. It is often fear unchecked, that is behind words, actions, and inactions that can cause damage and destruction for both, me, and the world around me. It can stop me in my tracks. It can unleash anger and anxiety (among other feelings) that may tempt and cause me to act in ways that I would not otherwise. Fear, unchecked and in charge, can make me run fast, far, and wide, and most significantly, it can lead me away from the very place where I need to be.

In the Book of Genesis, while we can see that jealousy played a part in all that happened between the serpent and Eve and then Eve and Adam in the Garden of Eden, we can also see that fear was right there too. After the fruit has been eaten, Adam and Eve hear God walking in the garden and they hide. (Thousands of years removed, and from what I have come to believe about God, I find this somewhat humorous. Like anyone can actually hide from God. However, I suppose we can, and do at times, allow ourselves to think we are hiding from God.)

God says to Adam, “Where are you?” God does not say, “What have you done? One tree, man! I asked you and the woman to stay away from one tree!…” God does not criticize Adam and Eve up one side of the Garden of Eden and down the other. God does not shame them, try to make them more fearful, or strip away their dignity (further than their actions have already done).

While there are consequences for their actions, God still cares for them and about them, and does not abandon them. God already knows what they have done and could simply call them out and punish them, but instead God starts by simply asking, “Where are you?” What a great question!

God wants to hear their story. God wants to hear our story. How open are we to hearing each other’s stories?

Imagine how different life might be if we took the time to ask and to consider of ourselves, and others, “Where are you?”

I imagine there would be fewer assumptions, judgments, and misinterpretations…fewer misunderstandings…less fear…and more love in the world.

Compass

Touched by the Spirit?

“Who touched me?” and “Whom have I touched?” or perhaps, more importantly…“How have I been touched and how will I touch others?”

It is interesting how the air can suddenly be sucked out of a room by the action or reaction of an individual. The way it can be quickly squashed. Like the domino effect. The momentum from the actions of one carries on to the second, causing it to also fall, which carries on to the next, and so on, down the line, until none are left standing. It is like a wave of destruction.

Imagine what it might be like, if we could actually see and hear both the rising and the quelling of the spirit within others in response to our words and deeds. Would my path have more dominoes that were standing or more dominoes that were knocked down? What are the things that cause me to knock down, rather than to build up? Or to become self-centered as opposed to Spirit-centered?

I was at a gathering, working with others, and as we worked, there was a spirit in the room. We were building something. There seemed to be a spirit rising within each of us as we worked together. I felt a sense of peace, unity and enthusiasm.

It hadn’t started out that way. In fact, I remember wondering, toward the beginning of our time together, “Was this task even possible? Could it really work?” However, as time unfolded, I started to feel a sense of excitement as we worked together. There seemed to be momentum and a positive energy to the group, and I could envision the task at hand not only being possible, but also working for the greater good of all who might be touched by it.

Then, toward the end, the first domino tipped, or rather, it exploded sending shock waves all around, and, even though it did not completely wipe out all that happened before it, in a single second, it certainly changed the spirit in the room. Squashed it! At least that is how it felt to me.

How many times have we all, either witnessed or committed an action or reaction steeped in “How I have been touched” as opposed to one that is cognizant of myself and “how am I about to touch others”?

I would dare to say that the times of action or reaction centered solely on oneself do very little, if anything at all, in a positive, life-giving direction. Whereas the ones that take into account oneself and others (anyone else around) are more than likely ones that acknowledge the situation for what it is without knocking any dominoes down. The latter are times of action or reaction that build up; not tear down. They help us to make the best of the situation, to maintain a spirit of peace, unity and enthusiasm, and to carry on with the hope and trust that things will work out. They always do! My faith, our faith, tells us, things work out for the good of those who love God.

What is it that takes me away from that promise? What do I, with the help of God, need to do about it so that my touch is in, and of, the Spirit?


There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years.
She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors
and had spent all that she had.
Yet she was not helped but only grew worse.
She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd
and touched his cloak.
She said, “If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.”
Immediately her flow of blood dried up.
She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction.
Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him,
turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who has touched my clothes?”
But his disciples said to Jesus,
“You see how the crowd is pressing upon you,
and yet you ask, ‘Who touched me?’”
And he looked around to see who had done it.
The woman, realizing what had happened to her,
approached in fear and trembling.
She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth.
He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has saved you.
Go in peace and be cured of your affliction.”

                                                                                 — Mark 5:25-34

Faith Like A Bird…

“Faith is a bird that feels dawn is breaking and sings while it is still dark.” – Rabindranath Tagore, Bengali Poet

It has been a long week or so since I last posted. As I sit to write, though, I feel a firm resolve within to “Do It Anyway.” To do what?…To continue to say “yes” to God…to continue to strive to live my life in truth and with full confidence, trust and hope in God’s faithfulness to those who love God, and are faithful to God. Despite the obstacles, despite all the wrongdoing and injustice, despite the jealousy and greed that is so present in the world around me, I refuse to stop. I pray for the heart and the will to always, “Do It Anyway”.  God has given me, has given all of us, a heart for love…a heart for all that is good… a heart to build up (not to beat down or destroy)…a heart to do right. Despite the circumstances and in the words of Mother Teresa, “Do It Anyway”!

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.                
                

                                                                     – Mother Teresa

Hitting the Pause Button…

Reflect

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…We need silence to be able to touch souls.” – Mother Teresa

Of all that I am thankful for and all that I see as blessings from God, the capacity to reflect is at the top of the list. In the midst of a fast paced, multitasking, busy world, quiet, prayerful reflection and contemplation has been a huge gift in my life, and from what I have witnessed as a family member, friend, and spiritual director, it has been a gift in the lives of countless others as well.

The first step is in the ability and the choice to pause. Sometimes the first step can be the hardest, especially with all that goes on between work, family, and everyday life. However, experience has taught me that I need to make a conscious decision to pause on a regular basis. For when I am on the go, in motion, it is hard or even impossible at times, to notice what I am being called to, to be open to a change in course or a new road ahead, or simply to be aware of and grateful for God’s presence and the blessings all around me.

I cannot ponder in my heart and mind without first putting the brakes on, lowering the volume, slowing down, and sometimes, completely coming to a prolonged stop. It is in these quiet moments, where I find myself best able to take a step back, to take a breath, and to truly leave room to listen and to be attentive to the deepest stirrings of my soul; the meeting place within. It is in these moments, that I find myself most open and reflective. It is in contemplation that I come to see that it matters not whether I go to the left, to the right, up ahead, behind, or way over there, but that what matters most is my openness to God…to the Truth…to the best course of action, or inaction, in the eyes of God.

When I think back over my life, I feel gratitude for moments of prayerful reflection and contemplation, moments where through Divine grace, I was able to let go of any agenda or notions to which I may have been holding on to, whether consciously or subconsciously, and to be aware and open to whatever may be. I can see clearly that these moments have been ones in which I have felt a deep sense of unity with God and the world around me. I have also felt a deep sense of peace and joy, regardless of the situation, circumstances or what ended up happening. It has been through these moments of reflection, in giving prayerful pause and taking a step away, that I am able to remain centered and rooted in God, stepping back into the world without being overcome by it.

Ready. Set. Open!

“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” – Indira Ghandi

Not only can you NOT shake hands with a clenched fist but there are also many other things you cannot do with a clenched fist. Perhaps from a more positive perspective…with a clenched fist, I can do very few productive and life-giving things. In fact, one could say that there is very little I can do with a clenched fist that I can truly feel good about.

When I imagine a clenched fist, what comes to mind first is fighting. Quickly behind that are the image of a wall and the idea of a stronghold of determination…determination to defend, hold on to and preserve at all costs. At some point I have to ask myself what am I defending and at what cost, not only to myself, but also to those around me, and those on the other side of the table?

Another question, who am I serving? Am I fighting to defend or to hold on to a universal truth or value? Or, am I fighting to maintain the illusion that I am in control? If it is the latter, I am pretty much slamming the door in the face of openness and all the possibilities that may lie ahead. What could be! If only that fist would open and that wall be taken down.

In the movie based on Roald Dahl’s book, Matilda, the father says to Matilda, “Listen, you little wiseacre: I’m smart, you’re dumb; I’m big, you’re little; I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” What a great example of the attitude behind a clenched fist!

It is sad to experience and to think about how much is lost or destroyed as a result of clenched fists; the potential that is never seen, never given a chance to develop. It is disappointing when that which a group or an individual has to offer, when their gifts and what makes them special, creates a barrier to meaningful work and the development of mutually beneficial relationships; when it causes division or angst instead of unity and acceptance and an environment where the greater good is the focus.

With clenched fists, nobody wins. There can only be peace and unity, working together and building up, and authentic collaboration where there is an open fist…open hands…open minds and open hearts. Where there is a willingness to let go, to lay aside what is comfortable and what is “known,” and to come to the table with a desire to learn from that which is new and different, to accept others as they are and to give them, and ourselves, the room (love, encouragement, patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness) to grow.

Wisdom9192011

Take Me Out to the Ballgame…

I remember the excitement with which I attended my first professional baseball game. I was about 7 or 8 years old. As an athlete and a lover of all things sports related, I was extremely happy to be going to Fenway Park with my parents and one of my siblings. I recall the crowds, the noise, the vendors (“Get ya program heeere!”), the field, the hotdogs, Pesky’s Pole, the announcer’s voice, seeing the players that I knew from watching games on TV or listening to them on the radio, and more. Of all these things though, what struck me most was the singing of the national anthem, the 7th inning stretch complete with the singing of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”, and all the moments in between and after where the crowd was in unison. At the time, I remember thinking and feeling that it was the most awesome thing, I had ever experienced.

More than three decades later, I still find the singing of the national anthem and the 7th inning stretch to be so moving. It is similar to those moments at a graduation or a concert where people from all walks of life are joined together for the same purpose, and in the same spirit. It is as if the human spirit is overflowing in joy, anticipation, excitement and celebration. There is a sense of togetherness…a sense of unity. It is exhilarating!

In those moments, what “side” we are on, ceases to matter. For in those moments, we are one. United, and all the things that cause division are gone, at least temporarily. How precious those moments! How brightly we shine, or rather, how brightly the Spirit shines within and through us.

I cannot imagine such things (a national anthem, graduation, concert, etc.) without openness to the Spirit from which active participation springs. Imagine what it would be like if instead of singing a national anthem, we spoke it, or, if instead of clapping with applause, we just stood there silently or gave only a nod of approval. How bizarre would that be? It would be spiritless. I don’t think there is any way we would accept such a lackluster response!

Imagine if that was the norm at such events though. Would we continue to attend them? Would they mean less to us? It certainly seems like we would be less apt to attend or to participate.

I wonder…why are we less open…why do we accept less in some areas of our lives as compared to others? What determines how actively we participate? Again, imagine how less invigorating the start of a ball game would be if we spoke the national anthem instead of singing it; or imagine what it would be like to be at a concert and to not be standing, clapping and/or singing along.

What is the difference between those moments where I so readily unleash the Spirit within and allow myself to participate fully, in communion with those around me and the moments when I do not? What holds me back? What prevents my heart from being in those moments?

How different the world is when that Spirit is present. What a difference it makes!

Keeping it Real…

“My perspective is that you should be IN the world but not OF the world.”
– Dave Davies, Musician

It seems fair to say that at times, it is difficult, at best, to be in the world, and not of it. As I sit with this thought, experiences come to mind and my heart becomes filled with gratitude as I see, or see again, that my greatest moments (those accompanied by peace, joy, and a sense of freedom and well-being), have been those that the world could not give.

We live in a world where we have so many choices and so much available to us, pretty much all the time. It seems as if we have become conditioned, to start with “What do I want?” rather than, “What do I need?” and “What is truly good for me, and for those around me?” Yet, when I reflect on being in the world and not of the world as well as on experiences that have embodied peace, joy, and well-being, I realize that so many of them started out with me not getting what I wanted (or what I thought I wanted so much). They also culminate with me getting what I needed most even though I did not realize it from the start. In between the two, not getting what I want and getting what I need, the difference maker in terms of how bumpy the road has been seems to have been dependent on where God was in the mix.

The times where I kept trying to push through and “make things happen,” have been times where I have experienced frustration upon frustration. It was only when I let go, stepped outside the tunnel, and looked around that I saw how stuck I was on what I wanted or what I thought we (God and I) wanted, and that somehow I had managed to leave God behind while I continued pursuing “the dream.” I imagine that God has had many a light-hearted chuckle over those times as God has waited for me to come back around; and, although I may not have found it funny at the time, as I look back, I feel like God and I can chuckle about it together now.

As I continue to look, the times where I paused at any roadblocks or unforeseen circumstances, instead of trying to forge ahead with all my might, have been the times where I have not only asked, but have also let God be with me, with an openness, and have let God be God. These times have also been the times where I have not felt pressured one way or another and have been able to wait until I had a better sense of what way to go, or what to say or do.

Part of Jesus prayer for the Apostles was, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one.” I imagine that this is also part of Jesus’ prayer for us.

So how can I manage to be in the world, but not of the world? My experience tells me that while forging ahead with grit and fortitude has led me to some bumpy roads, it has also, when preceded and accompanied by prayerful pauses and listening, led me to smooth roads with pretty amazing views. My experience tells me that it is fine, as long as my eyes and my ears, my head and my heart, are fixed on God.

“Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal
of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and
pleasing and perfect.” – Rom 12:2

You Gotta Have Spirit…

Imagine what it must have been like for the Apostles as they came to know and love the Lord. The Messiah, the Anointed One of whom Scripture referred was not only there in their midst, but was also teaching them, loving them, and leading them. And, although Scripture and Christ forewarned them of what was to come, it seems they could have never imagined exactly what would happen leading up to and through His crucifixion. They had suffered a great loss and were left afraid and probably disillusioned by the arrest, trial and crucifixion of the Lord. The Bible tells us that they were locked away in an upper room when Jesus first appeared to them as a group. His first words to them were, “Peace be with you.” There was no, “Where’d you all disappear to?” or “How could you do that to me?” or “Thanks a lot for running off, and for denying me.”

There was no condemnation, but a greeting of peace and a reunion so to speak. Imagine what joy they felt as they saw the risen Lord. I think if I was there, my initial reaction would be overflowing joy along with supreme relief and the words, “Oh, thank God! You’re here!” There would be a sense that everything was more than okay again.

I wonder what it was like for the Apostles to learn that Jesus would not physically be staying with them, but needed to ascend to be with His Father. We know that regardless of how it was for them, they carried on and not only did they carry on, but they also helped to expand the numbers of followers of Jesus Christ. They evangelized! In the Acts of the Apostles, we read about the early church and see evidence of trials and tribulations, and victories. The Apostles experienced both joys and sorrows as they strove to live the Good News and to go out into the world and spread it.

How did they go from cowering in an upper room to becoming fearless evangelizers? The Bible tells us they were filled with the Holy Spirit. It also tells us that they had each other. Before that though, they were, and likely continued to be, students of God’s Word and then Jesus’ ways; embracing both as fully as they could. However, it was not until they were filled with the Holy Spirit that they were able to fulfill their mission of evangelization. What a powerful combination! United in faith and filled with and inspired by God’s Word and the Holy Spirit.

I imagine the places the Apostles went, the words they spoke, and the experiences they had would have seemed as being beyond their wildest dreams, but that once filled with the Holy Spirit, there was nothing beyond their wildest dreams, nothing impossible; there was an unwavering hope that can only come from being rooted in God.

Filled with the Spirit, united in faith, and faithful to God and God’s way, how many amazing, beautiful, life-giving things have happened in our lives and in the world, through the course of history, when people have banded together this way. How inspiring, when we, through Jesus, are the best we can be!

FruitsofSpiritB

It’s Not All Pasta (and Peas)…

One of my favorite early childhood memories (preschool to early grade school age) is spending the afternoon playing and then having dinner together with some of my cousins. We had so much fun together. It wasn’t all perfect though. We had our moments of disagreements (maybe even downright feuding), but overall we enjoyed being with each other.

As I think back to the times we spent together, I recall those Fridays where the meal served was pasta and peas (elbow macaroni with sauce and peas). Although I can chuckle about it now, when I was a child it was no laughing matter. You see, I’m not sure that any of us even slightly liked peas. What child does? However, we needed to eat our veggies; there was not much choice in the matter.

Here’s the kicker though, some of us were lucky enough to get pasta without peas. There would always be a small bowl of pasta without peas, and of course, that would run out faster than you could say, “pasta and peas.” It was first served to those who portrayed their hatred of peas the best. Unfortunately, I was not the squeaky wheel and never quick enough to beat out my older siblings and cousins with what was left over, after those who were most intolerant of peas were served. Thus, it was pasta and peas for me just about every time (and pushing the peas to the side of the plate was not an option).

As a child I remember being disappointed at having to eat peas and, sometimes, even resentful of those who escaped having to eat them. As I think back to those days though, in addition to seeing humor in the situation now, I am also struck by the way I feel such love and joy in my heart as I think about my cousins and the time we spent together. There was, and is, a loving bond between us that no length of time or distance between us could ever erase.

When I think about this, I can’t help but think of Jesus’ words, “Remain in me, as I remain in you.” Just as these dear memories of time spent with my cousins and siblings remain in me and with me always, so does Jesus. Just as they and the feelings of love and joy associated with them are available to me always, so is Jesus and the peace, love, joy, strength, hope, courage and all that Jesus embodies. All available to me, to all of us, and ready for the taking, regardless of whether or not pasta and peas is on the menu, and regardless of whether or not it is smooth sailing or stormy waters. There is always something greater. Hold onto it, and we will not be disappointed.

peas

Faith Shared Is Faith Multiplied…

Recently, there was a faith-sharing program at my parish. The idea was to have one visitor for each religious education classroom who would spend 15-20 minutes with the children, sharing via a story, song, prayer(s), an experience, etc. from their faith journey and allowing for questions and conversation. It was remarkable to see the impact of such sharing. Not only were the children positively affected by the presence of the visitor and his/her sharing, but the visitors were also affected through both their interactions with the children and the act of sharing their faith. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, faith shared was faith multiplied!

In reflecting on this experience, I couldn’t help but think of my own family. I know what faith and my relationship with God means to me, where I stand today. I can also see how both have changed during the course of my lifetime. As a parent, I strive to share my faith with my children and to encourage a relationship with God. This is something I pray about and ask God to help my husband and me to do without going overboard. My greatest desire when it comes to this is that my children may come to know God and develop a relationship with God that is central to their lives, a relationship that they can call their own and to which they can remain faithful; not one forced upon them and not necessarily identical to mine outside of the basic tenets.

Sometimes I wonder though, what does faith and/or prayer mean to my children (elementary school and pre-teen) at this time in their life? What kind of impact might going to Mass, religious education, family life and prayer be having on them? Well, instead of continuing to wonder, I decided to try to check it out.

What do you remember most in terms of your faith experience so far?

My First Communion.

What about your First Communion?

I remember it because it was a big milestone in my Christian faith and it was really special to me. I got to drink and eat Jesus’ blood and body for the first time. Finally, I got to receive Communion after all those years of going to Mass every week and not being able to receive because I was too young.

So you finally got to receive the body and blood of Christ. How was that special to you?

I had waited such a long time to do it and had always wanted to be able to receive Communion. After I receive Communion, I feel like it’s the start of a new week and that all of my mistakes from the past week have been forgiven. After I receive Communion I feel happier. In the Gospel it says whoever eats my body and drinks my blood will never hunger or thirst. When I receive Communion I feel blessed and like I will never run out of faith.

What does it mean to you to “never run out of faith”?

It means that I will always believe. Every time I receive Communion I feel stronger in my faith. It’s good to have faith because it can help you to be a better person and God can help you through anything and everything. When you pray to God, God always answers, in one way or another, and He always listens.

How do you know that?

I know that God always answers in one way or another because God can speak to you in many different ways such as images, nature, or animals and God can help you to relax. For example, one time I had a big test I had to take and I prayed to God the night before about helping me not to be nervous. I was afraid that I would be clueless and I wouldn’t know what to write or what to put down for answers. When I was taking the test, the next day, I felt calm and relaxed and I wasn’t afraid about not knowing how to answer the questions. I prayed to God to help me not to be nervous and I wasn’t nervous and that’s one example of how I know that God always listens and answers your prayers. I still don’t know how I did on that test, but I know that God was with me.

How does that make you feel?

Blessed and happy.

What would you say to someone who doesn’t pray?

God doesn’t just help people who pray. He helps everyone. If someone doesn’t pray and they’re still going through a tough time, He will help them get through it. I think it’s a person’s choice whether they want to practice faith or not, but I would recommend doing it. Praying has helped me through tough times in my life and it would probably help others too.

……………………………………………………..

What do you remember most in terms of your faith experience so far?

When Jesus was talking about being the good shepherd and how He came for everyone, and not a particular group of people. To me, that means that everyone is equal in the eyes of Jesus. He didn’t just come to save Jewish people. He came to save any person in the world. He came to save everybody. This also means that Jesus can help anybody to be a better person even if they haven’t been a particularly devout person. It means that with His help we can all become a better person. I find this verse comforting because sometimes when I am really upset and I might feel like no one cares about me, it helps me to realize that, that is not true. God always cares about me.

“God always cares about me,” what’s that like for you to know that?

It helps me to feel comforted. It also helps me to feel like there is someone out there who cares about me all the time no matter what. Someone I can turn to for help.

What’s it like when you turn to God for help?

When I’m really upset, I can feel kind of desperate. Generally, when there is a problem, I pray for help. I ask God to help me and to help the situation. As I’m sitting there I feel like praying helps me. I pray and then I try to be quiet and I feel like God helps me to stop worrying. God answers my prayers.

What would you say to someone who doesn’t pray?

I would say to them, “Try it. God always listens to prayers.”

How do you know that?

My mom told me that. I think it’s her way of encouraging me that I can turn to God with anything. When I pray, it helps me to feel better. So maybe my mom is right.

……………………………………………………..

Wow! God is clearly answering my prayers. May God continue helping all of us to grow, to share, and to live in faith. Praise God!

“What was from the beginning,
what we have heard,
what we have seen with our eyes,
what we looked upon
and touched with our hands
concerns the Word of life–

for the life was made visible;
we have seen it and testify to it
and proclaim to you the eternal life
that was with the Father and was made visible to us–

what we have seen and heard
we proclaim now to you,
so that you too may have fellowship with us;
for our fellowship is with the Father
and with his Son, Jesus Christ.

We are writing this so that our joy may be complete.” — 1John1:1-4