Author: Carissa A. Kane

Carissa A. Kanehttps://hopethatfloats.wordpress.comI am passionate about spirituality and the journey to deepen and grow in relationship with God. My desire to live a life rooted in the Divine, and to journey with others who wish to do so, has grown, as have I, through the joys and sorrows, the struggles, victories and challenges of life. I feel blessed to be a child of God, wife, mother, writer, spiritual director, and retreat director.
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Be prepared…

Oftentimes in life it seems that being ready depends on angling or positioning oneself to move ahead, achieve success, gain security and so on. In the quest to do so, it can be easy to become driven and focused on determining the best stance or approach and to work toward that end. However, in the process, life can become unbalanced and the lines between what is good, acceptable, righteous and/or just, and what is not, can become blurred. When that happens, I can lose track of the very thing(s) that led me to begin a particular journey, the desire with which it all began.

Jesus says, “…be prepared.” What does that really mean though?

In my younger years, particularly as an athlete, there were many drills that my teammates and I practiced. The exercises were part of our training aimed to help us to become more skilled, individually and as a team. We were to be prepared, in shape, agile…on our toes…aware and ready to respond to whatever situation may arise on the field or on the court.

Along with all of the training, and of the utmost importance, was for each of us on the team to know our purpose or function. After all, how could any of us be prepared, awake and ready without having a good sense of our individual positions? In addition to a role in a particular position, each of us needed to be mindful and attentive to the fact that we were a team. There was more than each of us and our individual positions, and we all needed to be ready to back each other up, sometimes sliding over temporarily to another position to protect the goal or to defend the perimeter.

In every day life, it can be much the same in that it is important for me to know who I am and what my role is both individually and in a broader sense as a member of a wider community. How can I be ready and faithful without a connection to, or deeper sense of, who I truly am and the role to which I have been, or may be, called?

In sports there was always a sense of protecting or guarding each other, the team and especially our home turf. It all started though, or was rooted in, a strong sense of identity. And, while it was related to team and winning, it was so much more than that, requiring each of us to be flexible, to keep learning, to re-evaluate and reassess. We needed to look within in relation to what was happening on and around the field or court throughout each day, each game, each season and each year. Deep down it was about not letting one’s house be broken into. It was about the faith, commitment and dedication on which each of us is built; something inside of each of us while at the same time bigger than each of us, enabling us to be ready, awake and prepared.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As it was in the days of Noah,
so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
In those days before the flood,
they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage,
up to the day that Noah entered the ark.
They did not know until the flood came and carried them all away.
So will it be also at the coming of the Son of Man.
Two men will be out in the field;
one will be taken, and one will be left.
Two women will be grinding at the mill;
one will be taken, and one will be left.
Therefore, stay awake!
For you do not know on which day your Lord will come.
Be sure of this: if the master of the house
had known the hour of night when the thief was coming,
he would have stayed awake
and not let his house be broken into.
So too, you also must be prepared,
for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.”
– Matthew 24:37-44

It’s Never Too Late…

Many years ago, a friend gave me a potted plant cut from one of her growing, flourishing plants. Although I had an appreciation for flowers and plants, I was not a gardener by even the most basic definition of the word. Still though, I was grateful for this gift in a number of ways ranging from the spirit of generosity with which the plant was given to me to the affect its growth had on my growth.

Initially, I placed the plant on the windowsill in my work office and was sure to water it appropriately. However, over the weeks it was not growing as one might expect. One day, toward the end of the workday, I looked at the plant wondering why it was not getting any bigger; it had light and water. I remember thinking for a moment, “maybe I’m not as good at being nurturing as I need to be.” My heart sank at the thought.

Then as I sat there, I looked out the window and had another thought, “It’s okay, you can learn.” I went home that day and continued to think about the plant and the thoughts I had had. The next day, I moved the plant to another spot in the office, I gently cleaned its leaves and I think I even talked to it. I continued to water it and care for it (turning the pot to make sure all of it was getting light and occasionally changing the location of it and wiping its leaves off) and as I did I found myself connecting to it more consciously as a living thing than as an object or obligation.

My plant began to grow and one day my friend stopped by, saw the plant and offered to re-pot it for me as she noticed the pot was getting too small. Despite her being a seasoned gardener, she was so gracious and gentle in the way she offered. I learned because of it.

I often think back to that experience as one that renewed and brought forth new life in many ways. As I think about it today, I find it interesting how it could have gone so differently. The plant could have died. I could have just decided I was not a nurturer in response to the realization of a shortcoming. Most of all, it makes me think about how it’s never too late to be delivered from anything that might be holding us back.

“Deliverer” performed by Matt Maher
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pb_DT0MhY0)

I was a drifter, I had nowhere to go
I was hanging by threads of dust and bone
Every angel I knew was singing son come home
But the melody was hard to sing along

Oh God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
Oh God, You’re my deliverer

I was on trial for everything I did
And there’s no way I could make a stand and win
When you realize the verdict is already in
You let go of the brokenness within
Well there’s only One who can ever stand and win

Oh God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
Oh God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us

And now I’m like a child at night
Who never has to think of why
We’re free to love and live and die
And there’s no need to justify
The sinner that’s inside of me
Has lost all his control of me

My God, from the flood and from the fire
You brought me out, I am alive
With a faith, just like a child
I’m not afraid, I’m running wild
For everything that will be done
I am yours and you are my

Deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
Oh God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
Oh God, You’re my deliverer
The One, the One who carries us
God, You’re my deliverer

I was hanging by threads of dust and bone

—————————————————————

Matt Maher, Bo Rineheart, Bear Rineheart
© 2015 Sony/ATV Tree Publishing / I Am A Pilgrim Songs (BMI) / Bronco Music (BMI) (Adm. by Bluewater Music) / Holy Smoking Gun Music (BMI) (Adm. by Bluewater Music)

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Mysterious Ways…

Over the course of my lifetime, it strikes me that more and more emphasis seems to be placed upon one word, “winner.” Certainly in the world of sports, keeping score and proclaiming victory makes sense, as it does in various other arenas as well; that is, at least on face value. It is clear that in so many ways society determines success based upon who has won and who has lost.

However, I cannot help but wonder, in a civilized, advanced society, why is so much importance placed on this label? Somewhere along the journey, it seems like this, and other labels, have taken on a life of their own and, over time, have been carried to an extreme. It does not take much effort to see the mantra’s “win at all costs” and “do whatever it takes to win” taking on life and operating in the world. While I am sure this has almost always been the case, given human nature, the extent to which it occurs seems so much greater in today’s world than in years past.

How did we get here? I imagine gradually…subtly. Rather than giving in to fear and feeling deflated or defeated though, there is another question, “What can I do to make it better?”, and there are more choices to make.

As I reflect on the past few months in the United States, I keep asking myself, “Since when is it unacceptable and intolerable to see value in more than one side?”

It seems that when so much is focused on “winning” rather than on operating with openness, honesty and integrity, we all lose. It is only when we focus on genuinely trying to see, and bring out the best in each other, that we truly win.

Oftentimes in life, it can be tempting to think we are losing or that we have lost, when we are actually in the process of gaining. Although we may not be able to put a finger on it, to name it, or see it in any kind of physical sense, the Spirit is waiting to bring good (whether it is wisdom, insight or something else) out of and into all that may seem like defeat. We must allow for hope and possibility that great things can happen to, for and through anybody, at any time.

“When you have no helpers, see your helpers in God. When you have many helpers, see God in all your helpers. When you have nothing but God, see all in God. When you have everything, see God in everything. Under all conditions, stay thy heart only on the Lord.” – Charles Spurgeon

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Remembrance…

Earlier in the week, I was at a gathering where the person speaking asked everyone to close their eyes and think of someone they knew and whom they considered a saint. Next, we were asked what qualities the person had that made us think of them as a saint. Then, we were asked what we might need to do to have more of that quality in ourselves.

I found it to be a particularly interesting exercise. This is mostly because I immediately thought of two people, both of whom are still alive. I found myself thinking, “Oops,” upon realizing that the speaker meant for us to think of people who had passed away. However, my mea culpa ended up being quite fruitful.

I am convinced that it was not a coincidence that the people who came to mind are still alive, not only that, but also that neither of them would consider themselves saintly by a long stretch. The thing is that while none of us is perfect, all of us have qualities that are good and holy…saintly. Some days they may shine more brightly than other days, but the hope is that as we go along they shine more often or with greater steadiness.

Continuing with the meditation, as I sat there I could envision the faces of so many people, both those living and those now deceased that God has placed around me and with me. How awe-inspiring it was. I could not help but think that there are and have been so many good people, not only in my life, but also in the world. There have also been less than kind-hearted people, but still positive things have come from most of those experiences. More than anything, it seems that there are so many examples of goodness, and each time we experience one, we are blessed. It can be easy to forget that.

November is typically a month of thanksgiving and remembrance. With each day, and as the seasons change and the years pass, it is always good to remember and be thankful.

Being Chosen…

Anticipation…thrill…excitement…some of the feelings that accompany the thought of being chosen. As a child, I recall feeling a surge of these and more while raising my hand and waiting…longing to be chosen for one of the “premium” tasks during the school day. That is, the tasks that would get one out of the classroom (bringing books back to the library, clapping out the chalkboard erasers, etc.). I also recall these feelings while waiting to be chosen for a team during recess or gym class. So many times of waiting to be chosen during recess games of “red rover, red rover send … right over,” where the object was to break through the chain of hands on the opposite side.

As I think about it, I also remember feeling worry and anxiety in the instances where I was not chosen until further down line, or at all. Then there were the times of not breaking through the red rover line or not performing as I had hoped when it was my turn to “step up to the plate.” It is interesting how as we grow up, the aspects of the games of childhood follow us. They remain, only the structure morphs into adult forms (competing for a job, putting an offer in for a home, etc.). Just as in childhood, some seem to end up better off than others and the temptation is often to fend for oneself only.

Thankfully God does not play the same way that we do. In the Gospel of Luke, Zacchaeus, the tax collector, who is short (both physically and in the eyes of the crowd due to his profession) is trying to see Jesus. We are told it is Jesus’ intention to simply pass through Jericho. There is a crowd in between Zacchaeus and Jesus. He cannot see over or through them. He cannot break through the “red rover line.” In human terms, “game over.”

However, Zacchaeus, led by his desire to see who Jesus is, notices a sycamore tree, runs over to it and climbs up. Jesus sees him and calls to him. Imagine what it was like for Zacchaeus to be seen and called by name by the One whom he was trying to see. Not only that, but Jesus is moved from his original intent of just passing through Jericho to instead stay at Zacchaeus’ house.

How wonderful for Zacchaeus! But that’s not what the crowd seems to think. They “grumble” in disbelief. They are not able to share in the joy with which Zacchaeus receives Jesus’ invitation. I wonder what it would have been like if the crowd had been able to be happy for Zacchaeus.

Perhaps, though, what matters most is that Zacchaeus and Jesus are not affected by the crowd’s dismay. They continue in the direction they have been called. They continue their encounter. As a result, we see a moment of conversion and the grace of God which reaches far beyond any line. Like Zacchaeus, we are all invited, we are all chosen by God. What a thrill!

creationofadam

At that time, Jesus came to Jericho and intended to pass through the town.
Now a man there named Zacchaeus,
who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man,
was seeking to see who Jesus was;
but he could not see him because of the crowd,
for he was short in stature.
So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus,
who was about to pass that way.
When he reached the place, Jesus looked up and said,
“Zacchaeus, come down quickly,
for today I must stay at your house.”
And he came down quickly and received him with joy.
When they all saw this, they began to grumble, saying,
“He has gone to stay at the house of a sinner.”
But Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord,
“Behold, half of my possessions, Lord, I shall give to the poor,
and if I have extorted anything from anyone
I shall repay it four times over.”
And Jesus said to him,
“Today salvation has come to this house
because this man too is a descendant of Abraham.
For the Son of Man has come to seek
and to save what was lost.”
– Luke 19:1-10

Roots…

As I look around I see trees of autumn colors, squirrels foraging and leaves falling and drifting…floating…turning and twisting…blown around in the breeze as they make their way to the ground. It is striking how marvelous God’s handiwork is. There is so much motion, so much work, in one way or another, almost all the time.

I find it intriguing that so much in nature tolerates and adapts to changes in the air, while maintaining its essence. For example, at its core, a tree remains a tree whether or not it has leaves. Its roots, trunk and branches, for the most part, remain the same season-in and season-out. One could say that a tree remains faithful to its purpose despite the shedding of its leaves and the scurrying and flurrying of animals around it. Also, while a tree may sway with the wind, it is rooted in its stance, often bending and rarely breaking, in the overall scheme of things. How important healthy roots are.

Many years ago, I recall so vividly seeing the roots of a tree as it was being pummeled by gale force winds. With each gust, the tree swayed. The grass around it started to lift as the winds continued and the roots underneath were exposed.

It seemed certain that the tree would topple, but it did not. My father and a neighbor braved the storm and worked quickly to tether the tree. In those moments, despite the storm, the root of humanity was exposed. My father and the neighbor were drawn out of the safety and warmth of their homes, helping each other and the tree to weather the storm. As a result many roots grew stronger that day.

Be faithful and helpful, and allow others to do the same.

roots

Here we go again…

The current state of affairs throughout the world, the vast unrest, seems so unreal. Have we really fallen this far? One can only imagine the reaction of all those who have come before us.

What is it that has led to what seems like an inability to be objective? How did behavior that wreaks of an “everyone out for herself or himself” attitude become so widely acceptable and celebrated? While there are so many things that one could debate, it seems reasonable to say that in the quest to win or be the best, integrity, fair-mindedness, and dignity have been obliterated.

Amongst all the hullabaloo and distractions, is there any substance? It seems that so often the meaningful is hidden, squashed or perverted to the point of being hardly recognizable as what it once was promoted as or intended to be. From where does this confusion come?

It leads one to think. What’s the point of all the non-sense going on in the world today? I guess that depends on what one’s goal is.

As unreal as the happenings in the world seem to be, they are not really all that new. We have been at the same, or very similar, crossroads many times before and have risen to the challenge. People of all different races, religions and cultures have persevered through faith, learning and re-learning to work together, from age to age since the beginning of time. We are no different. Believe…

“God of life, you believe in us, you enrich us,
you entrust us with the freedom to choose life…”
– Joyce Rupp, OSM

herewegoagain

I do…

In a time when the news is overrun with reports of less than honorable behavior by politicians and leaders; widespread violence; and devastation from war, poverty, and natural disaster, it was refreshing to receive word of a family member’s engagement to marry. It was such wonderful news! What a great reminder of the love and good that still exists despite all that would seek to destroy it. Yes, there is always light.

Delighted for this newly engaged couple, I recall, so vividly, the day my oldest nephew was born. I had just finished taking a final exam for a course titled, “Western Civilization.” Upon opening the door to my dorm room, there were two blue paper balloons that my roommates had taped to the wall. They exclaimed, “Congratulations, Aunt Carissa!” “It’s a boy!” I will always remember what a joy the news of my nephew’s birth was. It was of the same magnitude and kind of joy that has accompanied each of the births in the family that has followed.

What a blessing new life is, bringing excitement and hope…also gratitude. Any time there is a birth of any sort (a child, an idea, a beginning) there is beauty in the moment, pure love, and the promise of possibility. These all seem to exceed by far any potential obstacles or pitfalls that may come down the road.

As I look back to what was, and then to all that is, I recall at different points wondering…worrying…about the future. I remember, especially around my own engagement, there were so many thoughts beginning with the word, “How.” How will we afford a home? How will we provide for a family? There were so many questions. There are still so many unknowns. Then I think, “We first began, and then we took one step at a time.”

I feel grateful for Grace that leads the way, the faith that grows as we continue the journey, and the examples of both those that came before us, and those who walk beside us. Bit by bit, step-by-step, slowly, but surely things that seem to be so far away or even impossible at times become reality.

“Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi.

mountainido

Action flows from Passion…

“One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested.” I recently heard this E.M. Forster quote while listening to a eulogy. I am sure we can all think of people whom we consider passionate.

I wonder though, what makes me see someone as passionate? How do I recognize passion? Do I seek to support and encourage it? Am I intimidated by passion? Do I only encourage that which falls within my understanding or my way of doing things? How do I try to see the root of my, or another’s, passion? Or, do I just make assumptions about desires, whether they are mine or someone else’s?

Over the years, I have come to believe more strongly that God places desires within us and when we are attentive, looking more closely at our desires, God helps us to sift through them. God helps us to focus on our desires that are best, helping us “to stir into flame the gift of God…” (2Timothy 1:6). In this process, as one continues to pray with a desire, passion is often born and a path begins to unfold.

The more consistent the prayer…sharing with God one’s thoughts and feelings…the waiting and listening, the stronger the passion, trust and patience grows. Anyone can care about something, but unless one cares enough to not only do something, but to do something that is born of prayer and fueled with a passion shaped by God, little changes in a way that is truly beneficial.

“The thought of God’s presence will put us in the habit of doing God’s will.”
– St. Vincent DePaul

Why is that important? Simply put, God’s will and way is the only One that truly benefits all. Try as we may, or give up as we may, in terms of desire and passion, there are always things that are beyond my control, but not beyond God’s. God’s will sees possibility and solutions when all we may see is roadblocks and impossibility.

“If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts.” – Psalm 95

In order to hear God’s voice, I must stop using mine, at least temporarily. I must take time regularly for solitude and prayer if I want to have a sense of God’s will for me. How can God reveal the way to me without having my attention? I must listen with open ears…open mind and heart.

There are times when we all get off track or take what we believe God wants for us and run with it. Times when we are off to the races only to have things unravel down the road. Sometimes we can get impatient when things are not happening fast enough, or in a way that we can see, and we leave God behind. We can be tempted into interactions with God that are more like a baton being handed off to us along the race, rather than like a tandem. We can forget that we (oneself and God) are in it together, and for the duration.

“For the vision is a witness for the appointed time,
a testimony to the end; it will not disappoint.
If it delays, wait for it,
it will surely come, it will not be late.” – Habakkuk 2:3

I need to remind myself “The word of the Lord remains forever…” (1Peter 1:25). It helps me to grow in faith. A faith that is not stagnant, but that challenges me to be all that God created me to be. I need to listen and allow myself to be directed.

action

Peace is waiting…

It seems rather easy, almost effortless, to receive and experience peace when in a tranquil setting. When surrounded by the beauty of nature or standing on a mountain top looking down at the cars and passersby, that seem so minute and far away, it can be so much easier to let go of and release the cares or concerns that can bear down on us at times.

The song goes, “peace is flowing like a river.” Yes, that is true, except for the times when it is not…the times when someone or something becomes an obstacle or intrusion to our peace…the times when we allow external things to form a dam and block the flow. How do I recognize when that is happening? What can I do to stop or reverse it?

Oftentimes, peace can seem so elusive in the world. Perhaps one of the most interesting things about peace is that almost everyone seems to want it, yet instead of it being a constant companion it seems more of a guest that pops up here and there before disappearing. Why is that? What is it that causes peace to leave?

From song to saying, “Peace is not the absence of conflict; but the presence of God no matter what the conflict.” It seems to stand then that lack of peace is the absence of God. Or rather, lack of peace is a sign…a flashing beacon…the result of somehow, someway removing God or one’s higher source from the equation.

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” (John 14:27). Perhaps sometimes peace slips away from me or becomes smothered beneath the weight of the world. How do I get out from underneath? Perhaps sometimes, whether knowingly or not, I become wrapped up in the busy-ness of the world or I seek peace, or a sense of security, outside rather than allowing it to rise from within; it has already been granted to me.

Peace is often equated with adjectives such as calm, mild-mannered, soft or gentle. These are all words that indicate or are often the result of surrender. When I think about the experience of peace, whether through hiking in the mountains, laughing and enjoying my children, or sitting by the bedside of a loved one battling illness, they all seem to be preceded by or involve a sense of gratitude and a handing over…letting go, quieting down, listening and simply “being.”

peaceiswaiting“By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies.”
– Isaiah 30:15

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